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Snippets

Modi govt to make Sidhu a cabinet minister to stop him from doing commentary

29, May 2016 By Hemant Bijapurkar

Delhi: As per sources, Modi Government is considering making Navjot Singh Sidhu a cabinet minister if he agrees to stop commenting on cricket matches. The government is contemplating this to stop Sidhu from unleashing his commentary on the suffering nation (The real one, India not Arnab Goswami).

Sidhu
Rare photo of Sidhu with his mouth closed

As per Faking News sources in PMO, Narendra Modi and Amit Shah heard Sidhu’s commentary during the last match featuring Gujarat Lions and immediately decided that they must protect Indian ears from this assault.

“They spent best part of an hour trying to link what Sidhu was saying to what was happening on the field but failed to do so. Sidhu talked about sugarcanes, hell, heaven, airplane, Bollywood, Delhi, Punjab, capitalism, socialism but didn’t say one line on the actual action happening. Both Modi and Shah sat in stunned silence for a while before changing the channel to listen to Danny Morrison’s commentary. That is when they decided that they have to get Sidhu out of the commentators’ box”, said our source.

“They made him Rajya Sabha MP so that he gets less time for commentary but forgot that Rajya Sabha MPs have little work to do anyway. Now they have decided to give him a place in Modi cabinet during the next reshuffle to keep him engaged. After that, we can tell cricket watching public that ache din have arrived”, the source added.

Even though almost everyone, including the drummer in extra innings t20, is welcoming the move, the members of the Modi govt and the opposition are terrorized. One was quoted as saying, “If Sidhu becomes a cabinet minister then we can’t ask any question related to that ministry. Sihu will start answering the question and we will have to listen to that!”

Meanwhile, as per sources, Sidhu is set to decline the post of a cabinet minister and demand the post of Rajya Sabha speaker instead.