Sagar, MP. A day after Rahul Gandhi was showered with kisses by women in Assam, mosquitoes from Bundelkhand area of Madhya Pradesh have clarified that back in 2008 they too were kissing the Congress Vice President – a compassionate act that Rahul confused for malicious attack.
“Our intention was to kiss Rahul Gandhi, not to harm him. He misinterpreted our love and affection,” said Lui Singh, head of Bundelkhand Mosquito Sangh.
Lui Singh was speaking on behalf of the families and descendants of those 25,000 mosquitoes, who were accused of attacking Rahul Gandhi and spoiling his tour.
“There was a deliberate confusion created by media about the kisses,” Lui Singh further explained, “Those were female mosquitoes who were kissing Rahul Gandhi. But since science textbooks have spread this sexist prejudice about female mosquitoes that only they bite human beings, the kisses were confused as bites.”
“If Rahul baba felt nauseated or feverish, it might be due to other factors, not due to our kisses,” the head of Bundelkhand Mosquito Sangh claimed.
“I mean, Digvijay Singh or something. But not us,” Lui added.
Congress sources tell Faking News that the clarification by the mosquitoes has won Rahul Gandhi’s heart, and he has forgiven them.
“On behalf of Congress, I invite them to join our party. Considering their huge network, I hope they will be very helpful in spreading Congress’ buzz across whole India,” Rahul Gandhi later issued a formal statement.
“We also aim to empower them,” Rahul Gandhi promised.
On cue with Rahul’s response, Bundelkhand’s local Congress workers, who were in state of enmity with the local mosquitoes after the 2008 incident, have invited the mosquitoes for a grand dinner at party office that will empower them by removing their hunger.
“Each of us will donate 20 ml of our blood for the dinner,” promised a Congress member, “If my blood helps the party and Rahul Gandhi ji, I will be the happiest person.”
“This is another jewel in crown of our charismatic leader Rahul Gandhi. Insaanon ko chhodo, hindustan ka machhar machhar Rahul Ji ka deewana hai,” Congress leader Rajeev Shukla expressed his happiness over the development.
Shukla further claimed that the incident proved that there was a huge wave in support of Congress in the country.
“These mosquitoes were part of BJP earlier and had joined the party after Narendra Modi had congratulated them on biting Rahul ji,” Shukla claimed while talking to media, “So this should be seen as thousands of BJP supporters deserting BJP to join Congress.”
Sources say that Congress is planning to use mosquitoes as brand ambassadors and spokespersons too.
“Each mosquito bite should be seen as a kiss – jan jan ko chhua, jan jivan badla,” a Congress leader said. The leader requested the party high command to pass orders for creating environment that promotes mosquitoes’ breeding.
Meanwhile, fumed over Congress-mosquitoes alliance, BJP has vowed to kill all the mosquitoes in all the states ruled by them.
“What can one expect from the party of mass murderers?” Congress leaders Salman Khurshid and Mani Shankar Aiyar released a joint statement, which overshadowed Rahul Gandhi’s statement of pardoning the mosquitoes.