New Delhi. Pharmaceutical company Pfizer has tested a new drug called Liberhanagra that is reportedly capable of causing multiple orgasms among straitlaced old fogeys. The drug was successfully tested in two laboratories called RS and LS among volunteers numbering over 600. Scientists could record strange sounds and catcalls, believed to be emanating out of sheer excitement and titillation, as soon as primary doses of Liberhanagra was administered to them.
“This is working just fine. These old fogeys showed no excitement even when Viagra, our most successful product was given to them. But Liberhanagra looks like the only thing they were waiting for. In fact we have unconfirmed reports suggesting that these old fogeys had indulged in prolonged foreplay when an Indian newspaper had published the news about launch of Liberhanagra. It’s just amazing!” a scientist at the RS laboratory said.
Pfizer claims that Liberhanagra is the first “open-source” drug in the world and it has made its formula public. A lot of people downloaded the formula and tried to analyze it but couldn’t make much sense out of it.
“I read the formula documentation; it’s quite meandering and very complicated. But I guess they have used opium while making it. I don’t know if it’s good for the masses.” Sameer, a net savvy youth, who spent five hours studying the formula, told Faking News.
Strangely, the new drug seems to be completely ineffectual when administered to the new generation. Pfizer tested the drugs on dozens of boys and girls in their 20’s and they didn’t show even the signs of getting titillated, forget erection or orgasms.
“Not only people in their 20’s, a bulk of those in 30’s and even the elder ones, are not responding to the drug. In fact most of them complained of nausea and headache when we administered Liberhanagra shots to them in rather modest quantity. We had to give tequila shots to them to neutralize the effect.” another scientist at LS laboratory informed.
Pfizer had come up with this drug after extensive research and development spanning over 17 years and after spending over 8 crores rupees. This is the first drug developed in India to cure impotency among old fogeys, especially those who are in important positions and influence others’ lives. Pfizer claims that Liberhanagra would cure these old fogeys of their impotence, but not everyone is upbeat about the prospects.
“Well, it’s true that the old fogeys got all horny, but what is this going to achieve for us? What are they going to do with this new found vigor? To add to that Pfizer has not talked about side-effects or precautions. I guess it’s all waste of time and money. The problem with these old fogeys doesn’t lie in their genitals, but in their genesis.” Kabir, a 23-year-old unemployed MBA said.
But the old fogeys are quite happy and they are looking forward to a hot and satisfying session in winter ahead.