Sunday, 5th April, 2020


Parliament to be converted into a Walmart store

05, Dec 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. After Kapil Sibal declared in the Parliament that there was hardly any space in Delhi for Walmart to open a store, the government has taken corrective step so that the retail giant didn’t drop its plans to start operations in India after FDI in retail was approved by Lok Sabha.

“The existing Parliament building will be given to Walmart to carry out its business,” Parliamentary Affairs and Urban Development minister Kamal Nath informed, “Parliament will shift to a new building as the current structure is more than 85 years old and could turn unstable.”

“We could have turned the old i.e. the current building into a memorial or museum, but we thought that the better option was to earn some revenues,” the minister justified government’s decision.

“It will help the farmers, the poor, dalits, women, and minorities of India,” the minister further declared, but declined to explain.

Parliament of India
Now things would be openly bought and sold inside

As expected, BJP has opposed the move saying it was an insult to the “temple” of democracy.

“This is simply ridiculous,” party leader and leading lawyer Arun Jaitley protested, “Now Afzal Guru will be pardoned because you can’t hang someone for plotting to loot a retail store.”

Parties like Samajwadi Party and BSP too have opposed the move and have asked the government to let them know if they can get any discounts while shopping at the new Walmart store coming up at the parliament building.

“Of course, we oppose turning the parliament into a store!” Mulayam Singh Yadav told Faking News, “We will protest by shopping at the store.”

While the politics over the Walmart store was as confusing as the debate in the parliament, Faking News asked experts if the current parliament building, feared to be weak for the parliament, could sustain the pressures of holding a mega retail store.

“I think the pressures exerted by a retail mall would be bearable compared to those by the MPs,” Vigyaan Shastri, an expert said, “There will not be frequent shouting in a Walmart store as happens in Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha, and walk-outs will be balanced by walk-ins.”

However, Vigyaan said that the Walmart should take some precautions.

“The vaastu of the current building is not good for cash transactions,” he declared, “Last time they flashed cash in the building, all hell broke loose. Walmart should accept payments only through CBI.”

“Cards (issued) by Banks of India,” Vigyaan explained the meaning of CBI.