Hyderabad. Buoyed by the success of getting the “Namaste” gesture and “Vande Mataram” dropped from the Independence Day celebrations at a school in Kerala, another secular group, tragically named, Association of Historically Oppressed & Liberal Entities (ASSHOLE) has taken the fight against the idolatry gesture to the tech world.
The ASSHOLEs are protesting against the Namaste emoji (pic on the right) on the popular messenger app WhatsApp.
Dozens of ASSHOLEs were seen demonstrating outside the office of Google, which owns the Android OS, on which WhatsApp has been a runaway success.
Speaking to the gathered reporters, ASSHOLE spokesperson Mihir Butt said, “Whenever we use emojis on WhatsApp we are forced to see the Namaste emoji. This is nothing but forcible imposition of Hindu culture on seculars and non-Hindus. We demand that Google suspend WhatsApp from the Play Store with immediate effect until the offending emoji has been taken down.”
Eminent thinker and popular troll-bait Kavita Krishnan also spoke to the media on this issue.
Standing in front of a now defunct BSNL Telegram Office, holding what appeared to be a message to Lenin, Ms Krishnan told the gathered reporters, “This is nothing but pure majoritarianism on the part of WhatsApp and Google. Such blatant communalization of Android has become increasingly noticeable since the appointment of an Internet Hindu, Sundar Pichai as the Head of Android in 2013. This is threatening the secular fabric of the Android platform. WhatsApp is to the PlayStore what ISIS is to Islam.”
She also added that she would be giving up her Android phone and switch to a Nokia 3310, drawing huge applause from everyone present.
“She has sacrificed so much for communal harmony,” a neutral journalist noted.
Former journalist and now part-time AAP spokesperson and full time comedian Ashuosh83B tweeted, “WhatsApp akon has traditionaali been Green and White. Any attempt of Saffronzation of WhatsApp shuld be strongly resisted, (sic)” and “AAP Executive Council has decided to boycott WhatAapp and switch to WeChat #PrayForWeChat.”
Google and WhatsApp have, so far, declined to speak to the press at the time of publication. However they wondered why the protests were not directed at Apple, because WhatsApp was available on iOS too.
“Maybe because these people have a habit of turning a blind eye to at least one party in every case,” a Google employee told Faking News.
Meanwhile, WhatsApp has added a new “Facepalm” emoji to its collection.