Tuesday, 31st March, 2020


Rahul Gandhi to use Inception to cure the poor’s state of mind

07, Aug 2013 By rude4thought

Transformation of slums into posh apartments through transformation of state of mind

New Delhi. Taking cue from the popular sci-fi movie Inception, in which dream infiltration is used to alter the state of mind, Rahul Gandhi is assembling a team of experts to cure millions of their grand illusion of poverty.

“Poverty is not the scarcity of food, money or material things,” said Rahul Gandhi to Faking News, “Therefore, throughout our two terms in power we have endeavored to deprive the common man of all of these through general policy paralysis, or as we like to call it now, ‘Limbo’.”

“If one possesses confidence, then one can easily overcome poverty. Unlike popular perception, Swiss bank accounts are actually filled with self-confidence inducing post-it notes saying ‘I am the best’, not illegally acquired black money through sand or land mafia!” he added, confidently.

Rahul Gandhi’s grand plan of action is to tackle multiple levels of dreaming for a holistic inception of the feeling of prosperity – thus fulfilling the ‘dream’ of Indira Gandhi, his grandmother who gave the slogan ‘Garibi Hatao’.

“In the first level, we plan to show the subject (the dreamer i.e. the aam aadmi) a scam-free country. Test runs so far have shown subjects waking up the moment this stage starts, because of its sheer unbelievability. We, therefore, propose to add economic growth in the second level, which is the perfect idea of a dream within a dream,” Rahul Gandhi elaborated.

A ‘kick’ to break the dream has not been devised yet. Although certain film stars have volunteered to ‘be human’ and wake the poor up by driving cars over their bed, the footpath.

Though the team is still being formed, Manmohan Singh has been confirmed to be the main extractor. To minimize expectations from the strategy, Manmohan Singh added a disclaimer saying ‘Managing a team, like coalitions, is not easy. Any failures in the future will be blamed on coalition dharma’.

The role of Mal, who stays behind the scenes to whisper sweet nothings into the extractor’s ears and basically dictate whatever he does, is rumored to be played by a foreigner.

Raj Babbar has been suitably roped in as the Architect of dreams. “The Totem to determine whether or not we are in the dream is a polite inquiry about the price of a full meal from a nearby hawker. If it is anything over Rs. 12, we are definitely dreaming,” he pitched in with a smug smile.