Wednesday, 8th April, 2020


Secret Bihar Election Diary: Buffalo feels left out as cow politics makes waves

22, Oct 2015 By Sandeep Kadian

Dear Diary,

How are you? A diary entry after a long time. Hope you didn’t think I was ignoring you. No diary, not at all. I can never ignore you; I know the pain of being ignored. Look at the world and their love for cows, nobody cares for us buffaloes. We are always ignored.

A left-out buffalo
A left-out buffalo

Yes diary, I am bitter about the attention cousin cow is getting during these Bihar elections. How can I not be? Cow is getting 7 pages in every newspaper daily including the front page while we don’t even make page 15!

Do you think it is racism? Cows are generally white while we are always black, is that why nobody is bothered about us? But you look at the milk, our milk is as white as any cow’s, no matter how white she is. One of these days I am going to mix my milk with a cow’s and then ask Nana Patekar style, tell which one is cow’s, which one is buffalo’s.

Even people who don’t consider any cow or buffalo holy want to eat cow meat only. Whenever you mention beef, they link it to cows. Bloody idiots eat our meat as beef but entire credit taken by cows. Even when we are dead, they still can’t admit any liking for a buffalo, has to be a cow eh. Buffalo meat exported world over from India but credit, yup its reserved for cows.

Everyone in the community is scared that fodder scam guys are returning but does anyone even mention us in their jokes? Nope. It has to be, “oh cow’s fodder at risk”, “cow’s fodder will be stolen again”, what do you think we eat Einstein? Why aren’t they worried about buffalo’s fodder? Do you think a human consuming fodder cares which animal’s fodder is going in his stomach?

I don’t know what I will do if Fodder guy returns diary. Maybe I will migrate to some other state while I am still young. But where to go diary, its not as if I am likely to get any greater respect outside Bihar. This is depressing diary, I am going to go outside and block traffic to cheer myself up. Talk to you later diary.

Moo! (yes, we buffaloes also make this sound)