New Delhi. 9th July, 2014, would be remembered as the day when Rahul Gandhi solved the biggest classroom crisis of this country by doing absolutely nothing.
Rahul Gandhi has a rich history when it comes to solving the biggest crisis without doing anything. Be it the state elections of Uttar Pradesh, where his mere presence was enough to keep Congress out of the state, or the more recent Lok Sabah elections where he single handedly solved the biggest problem of the country, UPA-2. Whatever it maybe, Rahul Gandhi has always delivered, or speaking in FIFA terminology, scored a self goal.
In the latest instance, reports of depression in students came from all over the country after Rahul Gandhi’s video of actively napping in the Parliament went viral online earlier yesterday.
On questioning a back-bencher from Delhi University, our reporter learned that the students were no longer willing to sleep in their classrooms. They were afraid that they would be compared with Rahul Gandhi if they were caught napping inside their classrooms, and that would be harmful for their romantic future, as well as professional, as they had no powerful relations in Italy.
“Until now, we used to sleep proudly on the last bench, excusing ourselves from the other productive activities inside the classroom. But now, we cannot do that as teachers are going to label us as ‘Pappu’, and we cannot afford that!” remarked another distressed student from Mumbai University.
A loyal Congress supporter and Delhi University professor commenting on this whole issue said, “Congress has again proved that its leaders are capable of solving any crisis without being in power. The HRD minister should focus on schemes like these that can help the Indian education system.”
“Rahul Gandhi’s mind works faster than a bullet train. I hope the railway minister uses the brain speed of Rahul Gandhi as a benchmark to design the new bullet trains,” Congress spokesperson Sanjay Jha told Faking News.
Subramanian Swamy tweeted that he had written to all the back-benchers of India, assuring them support in this moment of tragedy. BJP has termed this act by Rahul Gandhi as a stunt for vote-bank politics.
“It is pretty simple, he wants to win the votes of all the toppers and teachers, and hence has resorted to such low level tactics. But buddhu doesn’t know that by this act, he has even alienated buddhus who love sleeping in classes,” Swamy claimed.
Whatever the case maybe, students all over the country are now afraid to fall asleep in classrooms. Teachers are taking to Twitter logs to check all the names used for Rahul Gandhi during the election season, so that they can threaten all the students with those sobriquets.
As soon as Twitter was in picture, Poonam Pandey decided to step in. She compared her Twitter handle to Rahul Gandhi’s stunt, declaring that they both had the potential to rouse anyone.
Meanwhile Rahul Gandhi wasn’t available for comment, as he was possibly taking a nap. Sources however reveal that Sonia Gandhi wasn’t too willing to allow Rahul Gandhi to go in front of the press and had sung him a lullaby.