Saturday, 29th February, 2020


Tired of defending PDP, BJP leaders to issue equally absurd statements and force PDP to defend

03, Mar 2015 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

Jammu. It has not been even a week and the J&K chief minister Mufti Mohammad Sayeed has already taken a slender lead when it comes to issuing absurd statements and garnering media limelight. Although an ally with PDP, BJP was caught off guard and has started looking to consolidate its position of being the top scorer in this area.

“This is against the idea of any coalition. Typically the smaller partner does the loose talk and party who gets CM candidate defends. Thats how BJP-SS allliance in Maharashtra also works. We cannot let PDP have both,” said BJP president Amit Shah.

Amit Shah hurriedly called a meeting in New Delhi with BJP think tank and asked for their opinion. It was concluded that BJP cannot keep defending PDP in Lok Sabha, Times Now and every possible public platform. It was agreed that BJP leaders will issue equally outrageous statements and will leave it for PDP to defend BJP in J&K assembly.

BJP's trump cards on their way to J&K
BJP’s trump cards on their way to J&K

Shortly after this meeting got over, a group of people led by Sadhvi Prachi and Sakshi Maharaj left for Kashmir Valley to work on the action plan.

However our sources tell that their campaign is not going as expected. On the very first day Sakshi Maharaj held a meeting in valley to unleash his most trusted weapon. His appeal that women must produce at least 5-6 babies, met with a joyous response and loud cheer by the crowd. The Maulwi sahib from the neighboring mosque immediately joined him on stage and hugged him tight. With tears in his eyes Maulwi sahib told the crowd, “Itne dino se mai samjha raha tha ki apni awaz unchi karni hai to apni tadaat badhao lekin meri baat to sunte nahi tum log.

Sadhvi Prachi gave a why-should-boys-have-all-the-fun look to visibly embarrassed Sakshi Maharaj and joined him on stage.

She told people not to watch movies of Khan Trio. The elders of the village erupted with joy after listening this. A happy looking Jumman Miyan told Shaitaan Khopdi™, “Itne saal se hum koshish kar rahe hain ki ye filmein, naach-gana, music sab band ho. Ye sab Haram mana jata hai hai”.

“What an irony, a person from BJP understands us but our own people don’t,” said another jubilant middle aged man.

At the time of filling this report people had lifted Sadhvi Prachi on their shoulders and were carrying her through whole village just like Kohli and Raina carried Tendulkar after winning World Cup 2011.

Initially BJP was in a fix after their plan failed but soon they found a silver lining in the cloud.

“In case this alliance doesn’t work and there is a re-election, we might gain some ground in Kashmir valley this time. We may also look into our stand on article 370,” quipped Nalin Kohli as Yogendra Yadav-Prashant Bhushan controversy played on prime time.