Wednesday, 1st April, 2020


Transcript: Cabinet meeting to finalize the name of the next Raksha Mantri

28, Apr 2017 By Sandeep Kadian

After Manohar Parrikar returned to Goa, country hasn’t got a full time Raksha Mantri. Finance Minister Arun Jaitley has been handling the Defense ministry as an additional charge. Now to finalize the name of the next Raksha Mantri, PM Modi called a meeting of his senior cabinet colleagues. We risked our lives and managed to get the details of the conversation held during the meeting.

Cabinet meeting
Serious discussion in progress

Please read the detailed transcript below:

Narendra Modi- Mitron, as you know that the post of Raksha mantra has been lying vacant since Parrikar ji left to laugh at Digvijay Singh in Goa. Now we need to finalize a good candidate as soon as possible because we can’t keep it vacant for long. Any suggestions?

Piyush Goyal- Modi ji before we begin, one announcement. There are packs of LED bulbs outside for everyone. Please collect your pack while leaving.

Narendra Modi- Goyal ji kahin to bulb chhod do. Haan bhai, vacant Raksha Mantri post. Thoughts?

Arun Jaitley- Modi ji why are you repeatedly calling it vacant, Main Hoon Na. I didn’t get any salary hike with the added responsibility, at least don’t take away my credit. I am the Raksha Mantri

Rajnath Singh- We haven’t found a Raksha Mantri in the past 6 weeks? Hum is sarkaar ki is vifalta ki kadi ninda karte hain.

Venkaiah Naidu- Raksha- Rapid Action Keeping (us) Safe (and) Harm Away- Raksha Mantri

Narendra Modi- O nahin yaar Venkaiah, this is not the time. Keep these things for public. Right now tell me what to do about the vacant Raksha Mantri post

Arun Jaitley- (Sigh)

Ravi Shankar Prasad- Don’t worry about it Modi Ji. You just tell me ki resignation kiska maangna hai iske liye?

Venkaiah Naidu– Resignation- Ravi Expects Someone In Government Now Admits That..

Nitin Gadkari– O Venkaiah, Thamba Thamba… Yaar pehle samosa mangwa lein. Dimaag nahin chal raha aise.

Ram Vilas Paswan– Samose par koi service charge mat dena agar jaldi deliver nahin kiye to. Maine uska arrangement karwa diya hai. Aur agar aadha samosa khana ho to aadha hi mangwana.

Rajnath Singh- Hahaha kya Paswan Ji, Gadkari ji aur aadha samosa?

Narendra Modi- Arey samosa baad me kha lenge bhai, Raksha Mantri kise banayein? Raksha Mantri chahiye.

Vijay Goel- Modi ji, what I think is….

Narendra Modi- Ye kaun hai? Andar kaise aaya?

Vijay Goel- Main Sports Minister sir, wo Olympics bhi gaya tha selfie lene.

Narendra Modi- Selfie se yaad aaya, aao pehle ek group selfie le lein. Rajnath ji, aapke haath bahut lambe hain, phone aap handle karo.

Venkaiah Naidu- Selfie- Self Engagement Lovingly… Can I say F se Foto for the purpose of this acronym?

Narendra Modi- Venkaiah Ji, Lets Escape Audio Violence Everyone

Venkaiah Naidu- Hain? Matlab?

Narendra Modi– LEAVE!

(After hearing that, all the ministers quickly make their way to the exit door, collecting their LED bulbs)