New Delhi. The Union Budget could be presented late tomorrow as the only physical copy of the budget speech has been damaged. Apparently, Rahul Gandhi made paper boats and airplanes out of some sheets from the speech printout.
“Finance Minister P Chidambaram had submitted the final and the only copy of his Budget Speech at 10 Janpath for approval by the UPA Chairperson Sonia Gandhi. Rahul Baba happened to visit his mummy’s place earlier today and started playing with things around. He didn’t find the remote control of the robot that Sonia Madam had gifted him, so he took out some papers from the budget speech,” a highly placed source confirmed.
When asked why was there no soft copy of the budget speech even though Rajiv Gandhi brought computers to India, the source said that the Congress party has decided to go the traditional way so far as computers were concerned.
“We will come out in open only after we have gained ground and are equal to BJP in the digital and electronic world,” a Congress leader told Faking News, “We have reports that BJP won elections in Gujarat and Punjab after hacking electronic voting machines. We feared that BJP supporters could hack into our computers and steal the budget speech, so there was no soft copy.”
Meanwhile experts are trying to collect torn and soiled papers around 10 Janpath in an attempt to join them together and recreate the budget speech.
“Frankly, we think this is an exercise in futility,” said a frustrated housekeeping staff asked to find papers from every nook and corner of the house, “Even if we replace those part of the budget speech with something totally random, say a speech from the Portuguese Budget, who will get to know it? Do people really think that anyone understands Budget?”
But the government doesn’t want to take any chances, and every piece of paper is being scanned.
“We found some torn copies of Anna Hazare’s letters and CVs of various Congress leaders, but we couldn’t find the original pages of the budget speech,” a gardener at 10 Janpath claimed, “Looks like the planes made by Rahul Baba flew off really far away while the paper boats sank in the swimming pool.”
“It shows he can handle planes better than Vijay Mallya. It’s a tight slap on the faces of those who think Rahul Gandhi doesn’t have any skills,” senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh claimed, “So far as the paper boats sinking in the swimming pools are concerned, Baba Ramdev is a thug and Kejriwal is working for RSS.”