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Chambal dacoits applying for China visa to loot BRICS Bank

21, Jul 2014 By Pen10

New Delhi. According to latest reports from trusted sources in the intelligence agencies, a lot of the infamous dacoits from Chambal are applying for Chinese visas. They reportedly want to loot the BRICS Bank that will come up in Sanghai, China’s most populous city.

“We got suspicious when there was a lot of demand for staplers in the Chinese Embassy,” a source told Faking News, “On digging deeper, we discovered that these staplers were being used to staple visas on passports. On digging even deeper, we discovered that the applications are largely from the Chambal region.”

Time to do bigger things.

“There’s not much fun in looting Indian banks anymore,” Sardar Babbar Singh, a dacoit from Chambal confirmed the development, “The security guards are too incompetent to provide a resistance. There is not much money there either. We heard that the BRICS bank will have $10 billion. That is a lot of money. All eighteen members of my gang have applied for visa. I have heard that ten other rival gangs are also applying for visa. But, rest assured we will be the first to strike.”

On being asked how they plan to bring the money back Babbar Singh said, “Do not worry about that. We have enough contacts in the hawala channels.”

On being asked what he plans to do with the money, he said, “We plan to invest the money in real estate and oil once it is in the country.”

Ruling BJP has termed this as a CIA conspiracy. BJP spokesperson Mr. Sambit Patra said, “The USA wants to dominate over the developing countries through the World Bank and the IMF. The CIA is funding the Chambal gangs so that the BRICS bank fails and we are dependent on them.”