Belo Horizonte, Brazil. German coach Joachim Loew, in a press conference, has revealed that the 7-1 annihilation of Brazil was not a fluke. It was, in fact, achieved by months of careful planning and strategy, led by Amit Shah, the President of the ruling party of India.
“We wanted to win convincingly by annihilating the opposition. So we looked for the best tacticians all over the world. Then we saw that in the recent elections in India where BJP decimated Congress by getting almost 7 times the seats Congress got. Thats when we decided to go for Amit Shah,” Loew revealed to a shocked audience.
Captain Philip Lahm added, “What helped us in zeroing on the BJP Model was that the leader of BJP, Mr. Modi, was often likened to Hitler by many people in India. This created a feeling of familiarity between us and the BJP. We hope to work with BJP leaders in the future too. Acche Din Aa Gaye Hain!”
Amit Shah was also at the Press Conference. “Guiding grown up men wearing short pants is nothing new for me; I have been working with RSS for decades. We also snooped on the Brazilian team and reported all their strategies to Loew’s staff. They wanted a 282-44 result replicated, and I gave them 7-1, which is almost the same ratio,” he said.
Reporters then asked Amit Shah about how he would guide Germany against the Netherlands, if they reach the Finals, because Netherlands have for long been linked to the RSS because of their Saffron Jerseys. Amit Shah declined to comment on the same.