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Government decides to use ‘missing’ coal files for Lohri celebrations

13, Jan 2014 By 0mar Abdullah

New Delhi. In a sparkling start to the new year, government has found the missing coal scam files and has decided to use them for Lohri celebrations.

“It is like a permanent solution to coal scam, apart from the fact that we love celebrations,” coal minister Shriprakash Jaiswal told Faking News.

Na rahega baans, na bajegi baansuri,” he said, insisting that baans (bamboo) symbolized governance while baansuri (flute) symbolized celebrations.

Happy end of the matter

Sources say that Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh has approved the decision and is ready to attend the celebrations wearing a blue turban.

“With the files turned to ash, I am pretty sure that the history will be kinder to me,” Prime Minister hoped.

When asked if the Congress high command was taken into confidence before taking such an important decision, a part insider said, “Rahul Gandhi ji is anyway a fan of tearing unfavorable things down and throwing them out. He will be happy.”

“In fact, he is going to burn many other things. Only last night he read about how Kejriwal had put copy of Lokpal bill and electricity bills on fire. Rahul ji has already announced that he will learn from Kejriwal, so he will personally put the files into the bonfire,” the leader claimed.

However it is not yet clear how the “missing” coal scam files were recovered.

“That’s not the issue here. The issue here is that we are celebrating Lohri. Only a communal person will talk about files when we are talking about celebrations,” coal minister told this reporter when he tried to find out.