Syria: Peoples’ Republic of ISIS Caliphate (PRIC) has informed all governments around the world through official communication that it will no longer tolerate any kind of rapes on its soil. Any rape victim caught red-handed in the act will be sentenced to thousand lashes in public and 3 years of forced sex-slavery.
Through a video uploaded on internet, senior ISIS spokesman Zuhleel Zalalati provided more details. “Enough is enough, the caliphate won’t tolerate any heinous crimes such as rape anymore. Women need to make sure they do not provoke men. If any women are found indulging in trying to get themselves raped, we would be forced to take strict action against those culprits,” Zalalati cautioned all potential rape-victims in caliphate-ruled-territory.
Continuing further he said, “A punishment of thousand lashes will be awarded to rape-victims if they are caught in the middle of the act and five hundred lashes if they are caught after the act. We want to make sure justice is meted out to the culprits, in this case the victims.”
On being asked if the rapist also would be punished, Zalalati got confused and asked to repeat the question. On completely understanding the questions he made a surprised poker face and said, “Why would we punish the rapist at all? He was just reacting to his normal urges. Victim is the one who made the first move. She should not have shown her skin out of her burqa. Showing body parts such as face and hands can cause provocation among males and lead them to be unwilling partners in these crimes.”