Monday, 17th February, 2020


MNC fires security guards, asks accounts department to guard the office in spare time

15, May 2017 By Sandeep Kadian

Mumbai: A Mumbai based MNC has decided to fire all the security guards working for the organisation. Now the accountants working for the organisation will be asked to serve as security guards during their spare time. The company estimates that they will reduce their expenses by 7% with this change though there was no estimate of the drop in safety levels in and around the office.

Modi Jaitley
What an idea sir ji

Speaking to Faking News, the company’s CEO said ,”Yes we have removed the entire security team. We had a long discussion with our HR team and decided that having security guards is a totally unnecessary expense and we can reduce that overnight. When we have very capable accountants then why do we need a security team? Once accountants are free from their routine work, they can rush outside and stand guard, check CCTVs, fight crimes, everything. We all know how capable these finance people are.”

“We anyway have to fudge all the accounting data at the end of the financial year so there work during the year doesn’t really matter. They can devote their time to guarding the office and accounting, dekhi jayegi jab audit hoga”, the CEO added.

When we asked if it is wise to have the accounts department doubling up as the security team, he snapped at us and replied ,”You idiot, if it can work for the entire nation then why can’t it work for one office building?”