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Omar govt launches project to harness energy potential of flying stones in Kashmir

20, Sep 2014 By rahulforpm2019

Srinagar. Enthused by the massive interest of the Kashmiri population in spending large fractions of their time in throwing stones, the Omar government is launching a pilot project to harness the green energy potential of these projectiles.

Even kids are pro at it
Even kids are pro at it

This novel technology, if successful, could be widely adopted in other domestic and international markets such as Western Uttar Pradesh and West Asia, which have seen an exponential rise in airborne stones in the recent past.

The promise of this technology was recently witnessed in the Srinagar floods where Kashmiris decided to throw stones at the Indian army, which was there to rescue them.

“The fact that this happened at the time of a natural calamity clearly shows that our people have chosen stone pelting power over brainstormings,” Omar said.

He indicated that the Kashmir Valley alone has a stone pelting power generation potential of 1000 MW.

“Our government is trying its best that people in Jammu and Ladakh regions too realize the kinetic energy stored in flying stones,” Omar told Faking News.

He further pointed out that while hydro-power required massive investments in dams and turbines, this technology only required the presence of a street and a few hundred halfwits with a sense of entitlement, making it highly cost-effective for an impoverished state that prides itself in high standards of madarsa education.

“Perhaps this is why we’re known as paradise on earth,” he said, “Cheap electricity we’ll have, even cheaper than what AAP can promise in Delhi!”