Tuesday, 31st March, 2020


After spending 2 hrs on YouTube, Upper caste Hindu man finds out he is potential rapist who oppresses minority and lower-caste

27, Jun 2015 By jokertyagi

Gurgaon. Mr. Fake Pandit a techie from the city yesterday tried committing suicide after he found out that he is a potential rapist who is ‘unknowingly’ oppressing the minorities and doing injustice to the lower-caste.

“My husband works in IT company, which means he doesn’t have a life. But yesterday he was happy when he came home after two days. Since his project’s fifth release date this year is close, he works 22 hours a day and sleeps in office. After a week he was given a permission to go home for 8 hours. Our kids were happy to find out that their father actually exist and not a made up character like Santa,” said Mrs. Pandit.

Pandit in a light mood when he started.
Pandit in a light mood when he started.

According to his wife someone has posted a link on the Facebook about some social issue, which lead to a chain of events and Mr. Fake came across many videos regarding the issues. A video made by hard-hitting social reformist, who failed in his BA, was the last video Mr. Fake saw before taking the drastic step. The video was showing many mid-aged men looking at girls while pretending to look at traffic while crossing the road. The message was clear and simple, don’t look at the traffic when a girl is around, just respect your senses, take a leap of faith and cross. How can you respect a girl if you can’t respect your senses?

When we reached Mr. Fake he was working from hospital. Constantly crying in pain and taking medicine while typing the code.

When asked why he is still working he said, “My manager said attempting suicide is not a valid reason for a leave, I have to finish this work by eleven today and then he will give me a day’s leave to attempt suicide. So will talk to you later at lunch time.”

Around 1:30 pm when it’s the lunch time at his office, our correspondent got the time to ask him why he took such a drastic step. He said, “I am working 22 hours a day from two weeks and 16 hours before that, the remaining time I either eat or sleep constantly unaware of how big threat I am. Yesterday was eye-opener I saw those videos who constantly blamed me for all the wrong doings which made me feel guilty.”

“They are right. When I can walk looking at my shoes, why I look in the front, getting hit by something and getting killed is no excuse for looking at a girl. And even worse, after coding for 16 hours, I get blurry vision and I can only distinguish things by the figures which mean I accidentally objectify women by looking at the shapes. Also because of high cholesterol and high BP, my doctor told me to stop consuming non-veg which makes me vegetarian which directly means I am a hindutva flag bearer, in addition to that when I realized I don’t even have an opinion on beef-ban, I broke down I couldn’t take it. And please don’t ask me about doing injustice to lower-caste people, I mean isn’t it enough to say that it’s my fault that I was born in an Upper-caste family?” he added.

For future, Mr. Fake Pandit has decided to undergo a surgery so that he can only see anything that is in range of 3 feet from his eyes and is planning to eat beef at least once a day and go on save Gaza candle light marches to prove himself to be a better secular. He has already decided to save water only on Holi and stop pollution only on Diwali.