California, USA. Google announced today that it is launching a new service to help users search deep within their soul. “This would not only maximize the untapped potential of our search technology, but also the untapped potential of the human race”, said Sergey Brin, co-founder of Google, in an exclusive interview with Faking News business reporter SK Wimwian.
The service will be named Google Mox, a subtle pun on the ancient Sanskrit word ‘Moksh’ which means ‘Nirvana’ or liberation.
“Finally, we shall be able to free all the data buried deep inside humanity’s collective consciousness”, he added.
Google expects that this service will be a boon especially for those users who are forgetful – for instance, you will never again be at a loss to remember where you left your car keys, or which file contained the most updated version of the presentation for that critical meeting. It will also save millions of people from the embarrassment caused when you meet someone at a party and can’t remember where you had met them before.
Apparently, all you’ll have to do will be to ask yourself the question, and Google Mox will pop up with the right answer – all in the blink of an eye.
While Google Mox is expected to be a free service, Google didn’t rule out launching a paid version in future, which would allow users to not only search their own minds and souls, but those of others as well. Maybe men will finally know what women are thinking.
Most users contacted by Faking News couldn’t hide their excitement at this proposed development, but there were some voices of caution. “What if I have secrets I would like to keep buried deep within myself?” was a question raised by the noted mystic Mr Aishaaram Bapu.
Recognizing that some people may indeed want to protect their innermost thoughts, Google has pointed to the possibility of launching a premium Anti-Mox service that would prevent any data being accessed by external Mox-bots. Pricing has not been announced, though there is some speculation that it may be linked to the “value” of the thoughts that would be hidden. There is also a possibility that a new advertising-based revenue model may be established, where users will first have to watch a context-specific advertisement – inside their head – before they find the answer to the question they had asked.
The technology underlying the new service has been in development for the last three years in a secret underground bunker. The first step was to be able to provide input using brain waves – this proved to be a difficult task, but was actually proved way back in 2008 when scientists were able to use thought waves to move a virtual ‘avatar’. However, Google has gone much further, to the extent that the team of Mox developers now exclusively use thought waves for ordering food at their cafeteria.
The next step was to understand the way the mind and the soul save information, but this was a relatively easier task for Google’s crack engineers. They eventually decided that it didn’t matter how the data was organized, they could simply copy it all onto a separate server and reorganize it to make it searchable – the additional cost wasn’t much, especially since Google owns a bit too much storage space anyway.
Some voices of protest are already beginning to emerge.
“First they took over the world’s websites, then the books and libraries, and now the thoughts and minds of all of humanity would be copied onto their servers! This is too much to take – I call upon all nations to come together and stop Google before it goes too far”, said French President Nicholas Sarkozy.
Google’s Brin, however, differed – “It is preposterous to say that our intentions are not noble. After all, our motto is “Don’t be evil” – how can we possibly be evil?”
P.S. – This reporter was a bit disconcerted to realize Mr Brin was answering a question he had thought of asking but hadn’t actually asked at that point in the interview.