Faking News presents to you the top five big hurdles that a modern Indian woman has to face in day-to-day life. We have studied around two hundred advertisements and TV commercials to drill down to the core of the problems faced by them and finalized on these top five hurdles. Without much deliberation and elaboration, let us jump to the list:
5. Husband’s Cholestrol: This is a big cause to worry about for every woman who also happens to be a wife. Whenever they go for jog and husband pants heavily keeping his palm in the pants, then wife for sure knows that it is cholesterol and not because her husband has gastric problem due to the food he prepared the previous night.
But worry not, we have so many oils to the rescue, which when added in litres to your daily food will make your husband hale and healthy. Adding much oil also helps your husband to refill his bike with his urine whenever it runs out of fuel. By the way, this also affects women in multiple degrees. They have to pray that their future husband should not have any cholesterol, even if they are married now.
4. Over intelligent kids: Kids nowadays are much more than just brilliant. They excel at playing Grand Theft Auto and a mom needs to look at her son beating the shit out of an innocent pedestrian with a proud smile. She has to then worry about what to feed to that super intelligent kid, who says 2+3=6 using advanced learning software.
But worry not; we have our Horlicks or Complan, which can make each of your kid an Einstein. Because of one Einstein, we were already failing in our Physics exams. Imagine what will happen if every Indian kid who drinks Horlicks changes into Einstein. We pity the future school students appearing for Physics exams.
3. Dirty clothes: With a country that once hated women for wearing a white saree, to a country that wants everyone to walk on the roads wearing white dress, India is becoming a White country. Women have to dress their family members in white and send them on dirty and ditch roads, where there will always be a hopping kid who will throw ditch on all passers-by wearing white dress.
Women of previous generation had to toil hard with old ineffective detergents. But worry not, we have so many detergent soaps with so many Ultraviolet particles, thanks to Ozone hole. Also, we have washing machine to wash clothes. Is this not women empowerment?
2. Dark skin, Hairfall, Dandruff: This is the second biggest headache for a modern woman. Whenever a woman ventures out of home, she is not under threat from sexual violence or other sort of violence, but her biggest attacker is dirt and sun. While government is wasting its money on increasing security for women, it is letting the women unprotected from sun. Add to this, hairfall and dandruff.
But worry not, for we have the state-of-the-art shampoo created by research scientists, who already have found cure for Cancer, AIDS and many other threatening diseases. Because you die by such epidemics, but for hair, you need to dye and since ‘y’ comes after ‘i’, hair research scientists are more needed in this country than air research scientists.
1. Unable to resist male deodorant smell: This is the biggest hurdle an Indian woman faces in her daily life. This disease has affected the whole world and India is no exception. With almost every other man around them spraying the entire can of Axe or Park Avenue or Set Wet all over their body, it is getting more impossible for girls to not start sniffing. Indian girls lose their mind almost every single second of their day because one or other man with scent bottle emptied into their clothes cross their path and these girls have no other option but to go wild. The fervor has reached to such heights that girls are now hugging Axe or Wild Stone bottles when they sleep.
The entire world along with United Nations is concerned about this. Because we had not found any alternate or antidote for this. A woman has to sniff and go behind a guy who had sprayed one or another scent on him. Even a seasonal cold or a clip on her nose is not going to make her escape this vicious scent smell.
Apart from these, Indian women have other small problems that never need our attention like female infanticide, girl child education, sexual violence, child marriage, forced marriage, honor killing, domestic violence, salary inequality, dowry deaths, harassment at workplace, wearing purdah, outcast widow, pregnant deaths, misogyny, and so on. Let us not worry about these ‘silly issues’ as these are not considered hurdles that our Indian women face daily.