Wednesday, 22nd January, 2020


Disaster at South Delhi gathering, party-goers forced to make actual conversation as weed runs out

15, May 2016 By sidnaithani

New Delhi: Disaster struck at a local social gathering at the heart of Delhi’s thriving GK-1, as youngsters were caught off-guard once the ‘maal’ they had collectively brought to smoke ran out after only 45 minutes into the house scene.

No maal, no party
No maal, no party

Rishab Bhatia, 23, the host of the gathering whose parents are away in Europe for the 6th time this year because why the hell not, told our news agency that it was one of the most horrifying experiences he hasever had.

“Nothing, we literally had nothing to talk about once the weed ran out. I actually realized I didn’t know half of the people who had turned up once the smoke settled. Sure, I’ve been in college with the others for 3 years, but since all we talk about it how to roll sweet fat doobies, how much we smoke them, how many we’re gonna smoke and so on, it was essentially impossible to actually discuss anything else,” Mr. Bhatia exclaimed, holding his head in his arms, trembling with emotions.

Party goers reportedly started avoiding eye contact and awkwardly walked around the house once conversation dried up. Some hid behind furniture, staring into their smartphones.

Upon kicking and waking up Ramu kaka, his 78 year old driver’s servant, Rishab was informed an hour later that it was in fact approaching 3 a.m, and it would be impossible to source any drugs at that time.

“That good for nothing rascal is paid 2,000 per month. And for what? He roamed around for an hour and still couldn’t even do this right,’’ Rishab cried firing Ramu kaka on the spot, Rishab’s trembling hands reached to his cell phone to call his dealer in Gurgaon – but alas his dealer was nowhere to be found.

Disaster had been avoided previously at the same venue when the soft drugs had run out, but one of the attendees had fortunately pulled out a 100 gram bag of cocaine- the eternal social lubricant- and the gathering had gone on smoothly without any actual depth of conversation.

This time however, the 25 Party goers were quick to leave once the realization struck that there would be no saving this precarious situation. “Brooooooo. It was awful dude. Bad scene brooo,’’ posted Anika, a close friend with noticeably limited vocabulary who has known Rishab for 17 years.

“Without maal, what do I even bond with anyone over? I had invited 5 of my other Gurgaon girlfriends along for this, and this left me red faced. Naak kat gayi yaar. We had to leave and go to another scene, where our selfies would at least have people in the background,’’ she went on to state in a hard-to-place foreign accent.

“My Insta followers demand more from me, #dramaqueeen #instalove #housescene #crazyscene #crazymaalbro #killerbro’’, she mumbled while leading her delegation elsewhere.

As the last of his guests reversed his Audi in his front lawn to go elsewhere, a visibly distraught Rishabwas spotted smoking a discarded cigarette butt to calm himself down.