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During college life, an average student spends more time holding cigarette than pen: Report

17, Feb 2015 By idiot420

Delhi. A report published by a leading NGO working in the field of education says that during entire college life, an average student spends more time holding cigarette than pen. The report is based on a survey conducted on sample size of 5000 students from across the country.

Naresh Chaturvedi, head of the team which conducted the survey, points out that while in initial few months of college, the ratio of time spent holding a cigarette and pen remains 1:1, but down the line it shoots up drastically.

On the verge of extinction

“You will not believe, we have met students who have created record of surviving without holding pen for as long as fifty to sixty days,” said Mr. Chaturvedi recalling his visits to engineering college hostels, “It’s very similar to their habit of not taking bath for long.”

“An engineering student from Bangalore showed me his use and throw pen, which he had bought back in January 2014. He is yet to finish it off,” Naresh Chaturvedi continued adding that average cigarette consumption of that student was 10 cigarettes a day, “This very well explains our report findings.”

The report specially mentions name of a student from Delhi who touches pen only during exams. “Each time before entering the examination hall, I am not sure if I still remember writing or how to use a pen,” read the quote stated by that student.

As per the report, while studying frantically a night before exam or while attending classes, students do spend some time holding pens, but that impact is nullified by regular sutta-breaks after each class, or emergency stress buster sutta-breaks after coming to know about existence of a new theory, just the night before exam.

“Exams are the only reason because of which pens are still a part of college-life,” another member of the survey team told Faking News, “Otherwise, it is in no position to challenge the popularity of cigarettes among college students. If pens do want to survive, they need to reinvent themselves to increase the coolness quotient associated with them.”