Tuesday, 28th January, 2020


Man becomes lonelier as all his four crushes got married off in yesterday's marriage tsunami

08, Dec 2014 By idiot420

New Delhi. Amit Akela, a 27 years old techie, was left lonelier in his shared apartment, as he lost all his four crushes in yesterday’s marriage tsunami that had engulfed the entire country.

Recalling horrors of the last night, Amit says, “It’s even more painful when you know the exact date and time of the disaster that is going to hit you.”

Mayhem in the streets

“I got invitations from all four of them on Facebook. It was like a shark requesting you to come for a swim in the sea,” Amit told Faking News pouring out his feelings.

Amit claims to have lost whatever little he had in the name of “love life”.

“Four crushes, that was all I had. But this marriage tsunami took everything away from me. Now, I am lonelier than ever,” Amit said, adding that for the time being he will be avoiding Facebook, “This is just to save my sweet old memories when those four were not married and used to put selfies or group photos. Gone are those days. Now, with their husbands in each pic, and worse, honeymoon pics, it will be next to impossible for me to survive Facebook. It’s over for me.”

Cursing the magnitude of marriage tsunami, Amit said, he had never seen such a cruel face of shumbh-muhurat.

“You can imagine the intensity of waves as the parents of all four of them thought it was the best date to break my heart,” a horrified Amit continued.

Amit is not the only victim of yesterday’s gruesome tragedy. If data released by the government is to be believed, there are around two lakh Amits who lost their girlfriends and crushes in the darkness of last night.

Explaining the disaster, country’s top astrologer Ramesh Pokhriyal claimed that such was the position of planets, sun, moon, and other stars that it was bound to happen.

“It was all planned by God, sab upar waale ki maaya hai. Good or bad, we have to accept his verdict and move on in our lives,” he said, “I will advise Indian youth to not to try scientific methods like alcohol to deal with the situation. They should go to Hanuman Temple tomorrow to find some solace.”