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Man denied frequent flyer benefits after he didn't use aviation jargon like turbulence or taxiing while on board

28, May 2016 By Hemant Bijapurkar

Mumbai: A man was denied free early morning tickets as part of frequent flyer benefits by an Airline after he didn’t use a single aviation jargon while on board.The man Mr Pushpak Kumar is reportedly very distraught after this.

Want frequent flier benefits. Better learn the jargon.
Want frequent flier benefits. Better learn the jargon.

We spoke to a senior official of the airline for more insight. He said, “You see the word frequent flyer is very simple and clear, a person who flies more frequently than what is appropriate for his budget. So to get any benefits out of it, he must also look and talk like a frequent flyer. You would only be called a frequent flyer if you frequently use aviation terms like deplaning(to get off the plane), turbulence, taxiing, aerobridge(tunnel connecting plane to the terminal), flight deck or first officer in order to prove to everybody how cool and smart you are and how much more you know than others.”

“Also you should always ask for an aisle seat to show that he knows the correct pronunciation of that word and also should incessantly press the call lamp atop your head to mindlessly harass the flight attendants. If you don’t do any of that then you are reducing the brand value of a frequent flyer,” he added.

“So when Mr Pushpak flew he didn’t showcase any obnoxious behavior but traveled in a calm and dignified manner. Hence when tried to redeem his frequent flyer miles he was immediately red flagged by our alert crew members as such a behavior is not at all acceptable. We were surprised that he decided to carry out any redemption in the first place as we ensure that we only offer free tickets to the the places no one wants to go or at a time no one can go. It was a good thing that we managed to come up with a meaningless excuse to deny him that,” concluded the airline official.