Thursday, 2nd April, 2020


Man withdraws new year resolution to quit drinking as the resolution was made under influence of alcohol

04, Jan 2017 By RT

Mumbai: Mr. D. Runkard, a resident of Vasai, had taken a vow to quit alcohol during the new year’s eve party. This was going to be his one and only resolution for the year. However, he withdrew from the resolution the very next day and drank to his heart’s, lungs’ and few other organs’ content, it was learnt by Faking News.

Alcohol is flowing again for him once the resolution was forgotten

“My friends tell me that I have taken a vow not to drink again, during the new year eve’s party. I must have been totally drunk to do something silly like that. Once I became sober, I vaguely remembered about this resolution of mine. However, this vow can’t be binding since it was taken under the influence of alcohol”, the man said sipping on a cocktail appetiser before switching to the main course of tequila shots.

“People always say one must not make important decisions while drinking. Now, I know what they mean. I will never take any decisions again while at a bar or while drinking at home, especially related to drinking. Tell you what, Smokers never quit in the middle of a cigarette!  Do they? How do you expect us to do that? I like those ‘Shut up and Train’ T-shirt worn by train commuters. Next time, I am going to wear ‘Shut up and Drink’ T-shirt just to caution others as well as myself”, D.Runkard told Faking News.

“Know Mark Twain? He famously once said, ‘To quit smoking is very easy. I have done it many times. I say the same now. To quit drinking is easy!”, he said before attacking the third shot of tequila.

Faking news reporter politely declined the drink offered to him and took a vow himself not to cover any news on drunkards anymore.