Majnu ka Tilla, New Delhi: According to an extremely stern warning issued by a New Delhi based culture protection group named Saanskriti ke Pujaari (SAANP), it is being said that on Valentine’s Day even if a pair of brother-sister or son-mother or daughter-father is seen on roads, they will be beaten up. To get more details on this shocking warning, Faking News talked to Mr. Chhaggu, who is SAANP’s east-zone regional-area manager .
FN Reporter: Hello Mr. Chhaggu
Chhaggu: Sorry I am late, I was over-seeing the beating up of 17 couples we caught in a park an hour back. Had to arrange for all 17 weddings, so it took time.
Reporter: Oh you have already started the beatings and weddings, but today is not the Valentine’s Day?
Chhaggu: Yes, we came to know that some couples are celebrating the Valentine’s Day in advance to escape our justice, so we cracked down upon them. Day doesn’t matter, intent does, hence justice will be delivered when needed.
Reporter: Sir, it is being said that even if a brother-sister are seen on road on Valentine’s Day, you will beat them up. Is that true?
Chhaggu: Brother, let me say it very clearly. If people from male species and female species are seen together on that day, on any of the roads, markets, malls, shops, hospitals, clinics, anywhere, we will not spare them. We will not ask names, relations anything. We will beat up both of them badly and then take them to the nearest temple and get them wedded.
Reporter: But why any male and female, what if they are blood relatives?
Chhaggu: If they are blood relatives, in that case we will just beat them up badly, no weddings of course. But they better carry legal documents as evidence that they are blood relatives. Legal documents such as Pan Card, Passport, Voter id etc. are are acceptable. Details are also up on our website. Everyone should go through that. And no forged documents please, we will burn those documents.
Reporter: But why beat them if they are just relatives, say a brother and sister going somewhere for some work?
Chhaggu: Being blood relative is a stupid excuse because of which we had to let go a lot of people on last Valentine’s Day. Whenever we caught a couple, the girls said “He is my Bhaiya” or “He is my papa” etc. No excuses this time. We can’t take any risk, we want our culture totally corruption free. That is a larger cause, a noble aim, and in view of that, if some sacrifices have to be made, we will make them.
Reporter: No but, what if some people really have to go out that day? Say a son is taking his mother to hospital because she is sick?
Chhaggu: If there is an emergency that day, then seek our prior permission a day in advance and we will consider it for sure. We are not animals, you see. Other than that why do you actually have to go out on that day at all? Stay indoors. Let us do our work of punishing the actual culprits. Anyway, I think I have to leave now, just received WhatsApp images of 3 couples who are hiding in a tailor shop, have to get them married.
Reporter: Thanks a lot Mr Chhaggu for your precious time.