Sunday, 29th March, 2020


Seven places you must visit after you die

16, Oct 2014 By idiot420

You must have read a lot listicles about places to visit before you die, but what after death? As it is evident from numerous stories and movies, human souls too have feelings and desires. So, Faking News brings to you list of seven places one must visit after dying.

Haunted House
This house will start looking pretty lively to you, once you are dead.

1. Under your low floor bed and sofa: Go under your bed and sofa to find out things you never cared to look for once they rolled under. For you, they were gone forever. Most of the times, you did this because of laziness or because of the size of your body. But now, you are no more a body, you are a free spirit! Explore the dark territory and find out all those artifacts, like that one rupee coin to name a few.

2. Night clubs with no stag entry: This is for those who died without visiting such clubs even once in their lifetime, just because they never had a girlfriend. Death comes with some benefits, so try to use them fully to make your post death experience unforgettable. Use your paranormal powers, get inside the club and party hard. Just avoid shaking your head like someone possessed by a spirit.

3. Moon, other galaxies, and black holes: Death automatically make us an astronaut, the profession most of us used to choose when someone asked us what we would want to become after growing up. Now you are free to visit any place, your soul is in sync with whole of the universe. Gravitational force is no more a constraint for your movement. Go to Moon, Mars, take a dip in some black hole. Or may be you can go to our neighboring Andromeda Galaxy which is just 2.5 million light years away from the Earth. All you need to do is to go straight till Pluto, and then take a left turn.

4. Gym: You spent your entire life dreaming to hit the gym someday, but delayed it till your death. Don’t worry, it’s never too late! Now is the most suitable time to do it. As you are already dead, you will not feel pain in lifting weights, nor you will be running out of breath after doing cardio. That means, it will be quite a pleasant experience. Get a six pack abs dead man!

5. Visit haunted places at night: Now that you are one of them, there is nothing to be afraid of. Among ghosts and ghouls, you will feel like home. There is nothing in the world like living with people with similar mentality and feelings. Better echo-chamber than Twitter. You will bond well with them, which will also help you increase your Facebook friend count.

6. Go where famous dead people hang out: Visit the place where famous dead people hang out. Meet the celebrities. Chances are high that you would run into dead people like Osama Bin Laden and Michael Jackson at the oddest of places. As after death, they don’t need any security cover around them, it’s much easier to meet them and get a selfie clicked together.

7. Office client living abroad: Pay him a visit and see how the demon looks like in real life. Pull his hair, pinch his nose, whistle in his ears at the midnight, while he is asleep. This is especially for dead IT guys. Go for it!