Tuesday, 28th January, 2020


Students asked to write castes of all the assholes they knew

26, Mar 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

Muzaffarpur, Bihar. In an unprecedented move that is proving to be highly controversial, students of a state run school here were asked to write down castes of all the assholes they had ever known in their personal capacities. Even though the school administration called it an honest attempt to find out the social statuses of different castes in the modern society, it has caused a widespread outrage, but surprisingly, the students found the activity quite helpful.

“It was an eye opening exercise. I believe that not only every student in Bihar, but every citizen in this country should compulsorily be made to undergo this activity.” said Alok, one of the students who wrote down a list of 23 assholes that he had known in his 17 years long life.

Alok revealed that out of those 23 assholes, at least 15 belonged to his own caste.

The truthful list
Many students couldn’t keep on adding the names of more assholes as the unsettling realization slowly dawned upon them

“I was shocked. Almost every one of those assholes, who had caused me and my family members pain and suffering or had ditched us during troubled times, was turning out to be of my own caste. And yet, we have been so full of animosity towards people from other castes.” Alok revealed, conceding that the results forced him to think and introspect.

Alok expressed a strong belief that if his parents were asked to undergo the same activity, they too would end up compiling a list of assholes, most of whom would actually belong to their own caste.

“I don’t think that after finalizing such a list they would still argue that the real threat came from people outside our caste. It’s our own people, of our own castes, who loot us on most of the occasions.” said Alok, who is confident that his own distant maternal uncle, who seized their ancestral house, would be listed as the asshole number one by his parents.

Similar sentiments were echoed by other students belonging to different castes, all of whom reported an overwhelmingly high proportion of same-caste assholes in their respective lists.

The list of assholes compiled by the students included those set of people, who had said foul things in public about their family members, or who had caused them physical injuries, or who had duped them out of money, or who had caused other personal and family problems to them.

“We have always heard calls like giving vote and daughters to the same caste people. After this activity, I don’t want to do either of those.” said Piyush, another student who found the activity eye-opening, further adding, “What the hell man, we have been thinking and behaving like assholes till now!”

The students have appealed to everyone in the society to undertake this list-making activity and undergo an honest introspection at a personal level about the caste based realities in our interpersonal relationships.