New Delhi. In wake of the recent incidents of low-floor DTC buses made by Tata Motors catching fire, Tata Group has decided to perform a Yajna to please Agni devta (fire god) who it seems has been quite unhappy with the conglomerate. The decision was announced after a high-level review meeting took place today to discuss the problems in the low-level buses. The meeting was convened by the Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit.
The high-level review meeting was attended by DTC managers, Tata Motors representatives, Bus drivers, traffic policemen, bureaucrats, engineers, bus depot janitors and astrologers. Even after many hours of discussion when the participants couldn’t fix the responsibility and culpability on anyone particular, it was decided to turn to the astrologers, who immediately placed the blame on the position of stars. It was suggested that Tata Group should perform Yajna to please Agni devta, who has been randomly putting buses and other stuffs belonging to the Tata Group on fire.
“It had all started when Tata decided to buy Corus but didn’t care to pay respect to the fire god, even though fire was vital to make steel. As a result there was a fire at Corus Scunthorpe steel mill in July 2007, but no one picked up the signs. Tata still ignored the signs when there was a fire at their Singur factory in West Bengal six months later. They were happy to battle Mamta Banerjee but the real problem was Agni Devta. The next sign was when all of us were sad to see Taj Hotel on fire as terrorists struck Mumbai; signs continued as TCS office in Gujarat was gutted in fire earlier this year and then a few Tata Nano cars caught fire a few moths earlier. And now Agni devta has given the final warning by putting these low-floor buses on fire. We must act before it’s too late. Tata should please Agni devta and all our problems will go away.” Pandit Daanti Maharaj, especially sourced from India TV for the meeting, informed mediapersons after the review meeting.
Tata Group representatives nodded in unison as Daanti Maharaj went on talking and proposing solutions to please Agni devta and his incendiary mood. They were non-committal on putting into effect all the proposed solutions, which included steps like wearing only the left shoe on all Mondays by Tata employees and keeping a purple cat in each of Tata offices globally, but promised to undertake the Yajna to help the common commuters in Delhi.
People traveling by the DTC buses have expressed hope over the news as they continued traveling in the low-floor buses even as the review meeting discussed the problems.