Wednesday, 22nd January, 2020


Teetotaler vegetarian changes himself to non-vegetarian during office parties, consumes alcohol too

17, Nov 2017 By RT

Mumbai. A Teetotaler vegetarian was seen chewing on lots of non-vegetarian food and drinking loads of alcoholic beverages in one of the office parties. He turns himself to become a pure non-vegetarian and a wine connoisseur during all of his office parties, it is learnt by Faking News as told by HR of the company.

“Mr. Ravi is someone whom we all fondly call as a stickler to principles. He is a staunch vegetarian and an uncompromising teetotaler. Eats only vegetables and salad for lunch, drinks nothing but water and never once will visit the smoke room. For him, non-veg is an adult joke and smoke is something his code does under stress testing. However, he never smokes despite the intense stress in work pressure. We fail to understand why he behaves like this during office parties,” the HR manager told Faking News.

“It is pure economics. I live under a very strict budget. Veggies and salad is all that I can afford for lunch. If my office would keep aerated drinks, I can drink it by litres to cool myself down from the stress levels day in and day out. But, there is only a water dispenser in the pantry. I know people mistake me to be a pure vegetarian and a teetotaler. I am not at all a veggie by choice. I am one out of no choice, absolutely on financial restrictions,” Mr. Ravi explained his side of the story to Faking News under the condition of secrecy.

“Now this huge image has been built around me and I have a reputation to live up to. When HR arranges potluck almost every Friday, I am not allowed to go anywhere near the non-vegetarian section. My friends never call me to kebab parties or barbecue night outs. During office parties, I let it go in full swing. The moment someone takes a sip of red wine and pick a few chicken lollipops, I join them in with my own non-vegetarian platter. Sure, a lot of eyebrows are normally raised. But, I don’t care. Under the disguise of living the official spirit for a night, I taste all kinds of spirits available in the bar,” Mr. Ravi finished the story to Faking News.

On the way out from his office, Mr. Ravi was seen politely declining to a piece of cake, offered by a birthday boy, citing the reason that it contained egg.