Saturday, 29th February, 2020


Those who know the art of celebrating an occasion without alcohol are on the verge of extinction: UNESCO

14, Nov 2014 By idiot420

New Delhi. If a recent report published by UNESCO is to be believed, those people who know the art of celebrating an occasion without drinking alcohol are slowly moving towards extinction.

The report requests countries across the world to take appropriate measures to save the fast vanishing section of the society, which is still aware of that ancient art.

That man without any glass in his hands, he needs to be preserved.

“Nowadays, we are so habituated of getting things done without any extra effort that we have stopped trying to become happy manually. Instead we resort to things like booze, which automates the whole process of feeling happy and gives instant result and most of us are falling for it. But still, some hardworking people are out there who are following the natural process,” explained UNESCO chief Irina Bokova.

“Any carelessness in our attempt to save them will make our planet devoid of these lively people,” Irina Bokova warned further, “The art of enjoying an occasion without alcohol is part of our heritage, we certainly don’t want this rare form of art to go extinct.”

Taking precautionary measures, UNESCO has released list of things to do in order to preserve the art and the disappearing population of the artists.

“We are encouraging people to celebrate festivals and important days round the year with groups of people who know how to enjoy life without consuming liquor,” UNESCO chief continued adding that they planning to list all those people on their website, “This way, it will be easier for a common man to find those people and spend time with them to learn the art.”

Realizing the looming threat of extinction, people expert in having a blast without a drop of liquor have become extremely cautious.

“I am vowing to teach this art to my next generation,” said 30 year old Manish, a strong-willed teetotaler who is going to be a father next month. “Not only that, I will make sure that my children pass that on to their children.”

However, many expressed shock that such people still existed.

“Dude, I got the news of a my new job offer on a dry day. But as it was a dry day, I was clueless about what to do. Only next day I managed to bring smile on my face,” Prateek, a Bangalore based IT professional told Faking News. “I can’t even imagine of a party without booze. How the hell is that even a party?”

Meanwhile, many people who are willing to conserve the vanishing group have requested teetotalers to open coaching centers to teach them the art of enjoying without drinking.