Wednesday, 26th June, 2019

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The New Entrant for 2019 elections, AI powered Non-Aadmi Party looks promising. Are you ready to upvote?

01, Apr 2019 By Santosh Pradhan

As per the data of Election Commission, India currently has 2293 political parties. In fact, 149 parties were registered after the announcement of poll schedule. One common theme running across all parties is that there is no space for innovation in any of them. But that’s not the case with the recently launched Non-Aadmi Party in Bengaluru. Non-Aadmi Party will be the world’s first artificial intelligence powered govt and will contest the upcoming elections. And you guessed it right from the place of its origin, it is indeed a Startup.

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Non-Aadmi Party (NAP) aims to become the first VC-backed ruling party. Existing parties may claim that they too are VC (Vice and crime) funded. But this VC is different and will be run on a cloud based AI engine. First time in the history of governance the Prime Minister will not have to call a cabinet meeting to discuss any matter, as he will have real-time access to necessary information and he would be answerable only to the voters, not the coalition parties as was the case previously. A cloud-based, omnipotent and omnipresent – AAI would be the Prime Minister of the World’s First Artificial Intelligence Powered Govt. Many would argue that we already had a robotics based leader some time back but AAI is totally different.

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Each and every penny received or spent will be recorded and the emphasis of the governance will shift towards cash burn, marketing spends, and cashbacks. Non-Aadmi Party will give a sense of ownership to the voters through VESOPS (Voter Stock Ownership Plan). Every member of the voting public who pledges their vote to NAP will be entitled to a percentage of ownership of the country. Now if you ask, how can a country be owned via stocks? Well, let’s just say that if a war ever breaks out and territories of India have to be acquired, you’re in for a huge buyback!

Traditional political parties don’t disclose their funding sources, but being a political startup, it will probably be one of the most important things that Non Aadmi Party talks about. Get used to newspaper headlines like, “Non Aadmi Party Raises $100 million in Series A Funding” or “Multiple VCs Lead New Funding Round in NAP.”

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The two most misunderstood entities in the last 50 years have been a.) Duckworth–Lewis system and b.) Niti Ayog. For better planning, better tracking, everyone will have access to Jira.

Niti Ayog will be replaced with Scrum Master. Also, Non-Aadmi Party will work with a vision 2025 and Cabinet Ministers will be judged during the appraisal cycles based on public OKRs. In fact, citizens can review the cabinet ministers on Glassdoor. Interesting?

From a misunderstood system to a non-understood system, yes we are talking about the constitution. Non-Aadmi Party plans to replace the constitution with Peter Thiel’s “Zero to One” and the preamble with a Markov-chain model fed with Elon Musk’s most viral tweets, so it makes sense to replace it with a simpler and to-the-point system.

The Indian Penal Code (IPC) which has not taken any clue from how criminals are shown making a mockery of it in the Bollywood movies will finally be updated with latest penalties for the social faux pas. Something’s that would definitely call for punishment would be 1. Saying in your Tinder bio that you’re ‘here for friendship only’ and you’re ‘Sapiosexual’. 2. Sharing “Good Morning” on Whatsapp. Double if the Good Morning has a photo of a baby or a rose. 3. Making TikTok videos, among others.

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Good deeds will be rewarded though. Has any government ever given you money to pay money? Every time your company deducts TDS or professional tax from your salary, Non-Aadmi Party will deposit cashback directly into a wallet of your choice. Wow! Literally, wow! Now, Non-Aadmi Party being a Startup, understands the issues faced by Startups. It has proposed the removal of Angel tax. With their superior intelligence, NAP will out-general taxation on VC investments by allowing VC funding via electoral bonds. This will not only allow all investments to be tax-free but also allow all donations to be completely anonymous.

Startups have cool names, right? Why shouldn’t our cities have that too? Since there are so many breweries in Bangalore, NAP proposes to rename it to Brewgalore. Mumbai and Chennai, of course, will become Mumb.ai and Chenn.ai.

Prime Minister AAI will reside as an app on your mobile device & address your queries. In fact it will not only be leader’s mann ki baat   that will take centre stage but sabke mann ki baat as ‘Mann Ki Baat’ will be replaced with ‘Town Halls’. Instead of a radio speech (which is hardly the way to reach Millenials), the Non Aadmi Party will host a Town Hall meeting every Sunday.

Razorpay will be the technology partner for the government, helping them setting up the payment backbone which would be so integral in the functioning of the government. In short, Non-Aadmi Party would be powered by Razorpay. The funding activities will be transparent as there would be no human element involved. NAP proposes great job titles for Cabinet Ministers, it is rather dull to call someone the ‘Minister of Human Resource Development’; we’ll call this post the ‘Head of People Ops’.

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You want to hear more? Some major changes would include shifting of the Monsoon session to Goa, and like many Goa plans, this one surely will not be canceled. Judges will be replaced by AI and hence make it difficult for humans to interfere in judiciary system. No prize for guessing the party symbol, as all activities will be enabled through a cloud based design, the ‘cloud’ would be the symbol of the party.

Now if you want to upvote the Non-Aadmi Party, cast your vote here

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