Miami, Florida: After getting suspended for two years by the International Tennis Federation for testing positive for the banned substance meldonium, Maria Sharapova has decided to finally atone for the sin of not knowing the cricketing God Sachin Tendulkar by praying to him.
Ever since Sharapova committed the cardinal sin, at the 2014 Wimbledon Open, of not knowing Sachin Tendulkar, her career and personal life have suffered one setback after another. She failed to add to her 5 grandslam titles, lost yet another grandslam final to her nemesis Serena Williams, got plagued by injuries, split up with boyfriend Dimitrov and finally got suspended by ITF for doping.
“The sequence of disasters in my life after that sin has been unending. It was very arrogant of me to say that I don’t know God himself. Ever since I said that I can feel and sense that I have been cursed but decided to brazen it out for a while. But after this doping ban, I just can’t risk it any longer. I need to atone and I have started praying to Sachin,” said Sharapova.
Hearing the news, Sachin’s Billion plus fans also took back the collective spells they cast on Maria. Sachin himself seemed to be oblivious to all the happenings, just as he was when Sharapova committed the sin. When Faking News reached for a comment, he said, winking at us, “I don’t know what this is about but I just want to say things are all good now.
And right on cue, things seem to be turning around for Sharapova as her ex boyfriend Grigor Dimitrov suffered a stunning capitulation at the Stuttgart Open after the stadium DJ trolled him by playing the song of his latest ex-girlfriend & former Pussycat Dolls lead singer Nicole Scherzinger.