BCCI to start marriage bureau, to fix matches for cricketers

05, Mar 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Hyderabad. After Cheteshwar Pujara scored a double century after marriage and admitted that the pressure of marriage helped him perform, BCCI has decided to help cricketers with marriage and performance.

The board would be starting a marriage bureau, which will help cricketers find their better halves and hopefully a better career.

“We have stats to prove that marriage has improved many cricketers’ performances – be it Sachin, Dhoni, Ashwin, or recently Pujara. So we thought to make the process official,” BCCI spokesman and IPL chief Rajeev Shukla told Faking News.

Cheteshwar Pujara and his wife
BCCI officials often calculated the notional loss due to absence of any company or brand’s logo in the background of such wedding pictures of cricketers

“We will be fixing matches for them,” Shukla came up with in a double-meaning sentence, similar to the one issued by Pujara earlier.

Sources say that like its other initiatives, BCCI will aim to maximize revenues while providing the services.

“They will start with a bidding process and girls could bid to win date with young cricketers. They are already hopeful of earning millions by auctioning off Virat Kohli,” a source disclosed.

“All unmarried cricketers will be available for auction. Foreigners too will be allowed to bid. This will also make sure that cricketers don’t flirt with cheerleaders during the next IPL,” the source claimed.

Apart from making money through the dating process, the BCCI hopes to make a killing when a cricketer finally gets married.

“They will organize a grand wedding party. Shah Rukh Khan, the owner of IPL has been roped in to perform at the parties. Sponsorship of various rituals, Tickets, and TV broadcast rights of such weddings will be sold off at a premium rate,” the source further disclosed.

While the whole process appears like glamorization and commercialization of cricket, BCCI insists that the whole step is aimed at improving a player’s on-field performance.

“We have been thinking of this plan even since former coach Gary Kirsten supported pre-match sex more than three years ago,” Shukla claimed.

When asked if the plan also extends to women’s team, Shukla refused to comment, though he smiled.

(read this report on FN 2.0 for more evidences showing a relationship between a cricketer’s marriage and performance)