Tuesday, 19th March, 2019

Snippets

Bored with their own display, Manchester United players fall asleep on the ground.

26, Dec 2015 By Sandeep Kadian

Old Trafford, Manchester: In a bizarre turn of events, some of the Manchester United players fell asleep during their football match today. So far they had only put their fans to sleep but this is the first time that the players themselves fell asleep due to their style of play.

Rooney managed to sleep standing up
Rooney managed to sleep standing up

Initially the referee stopped the play thinking the players are collapsing due to some medical condition but when he woke up the medical staff to check the players, the medics found that all of them were snoring loudly confirming that all is normal. Play was held up for a few minutes as the medics woke up each player one by one by whispering in their ear that manager Louis Van Gaal has been fired.

Manchester United have been roundly criticized this year for their style of play which has been called boring at best by all the critics. They have struggled to score freely with club captain and star forward Wayne Rooney scoring only twice in the league this season. Most of the blame has been placed at Louis Van Gaal’s feet who was also caught napping during the game.

After the loss away at Bournemouth and at home against Norwich, this might be the last straw and can cause LVG his position.

One player speaking on the condition of anonymity told Faking News, “What do you expect man. How long can I keep passing sideways to the same man without getting bored?”

When we asked why don’t they pass it forward, the irritated player replied, “Pass it to who? Have you been able to spot Rooney during any of our matches? If people watching on TV can’t find him with all the camera angles, how can we?”

Meanwhile, Jose Mourinho was seen exiting the stadium with a wide grin on his face.