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Employees to take tips from Rohit and Raina on how to retain jobs despite non-performance

24, Jan 2014 By indianpsycho

Bangalore. Impressed with their ability to save their place in the Indian team even after consistent non-performance, a group of disgruntled IT employees from the city have decided to approach some members of the Indian cricket team, currently in New Zealand, to get some professional tips.

Sources tell Faking News that players like Ishant Sharma, Rohit Sharma, Ashwin, and Raina are the most sought after by these employees frustrated with their professional careers.

Rohit Sharma and Suresh Raina
Rohit and Raina being awarded for something

“I work my ass off, achieve all my targets, complete all the projects before assigned deadlines, yet I have still not been chosen for a single on-site tour so far. And look, these guys are touring New Zealand!” said 29-year-old software engineer Miteshwar Pujara.

“I too yearn for a boss who blames the RAM of the office PC instead of my coding skills if there are any errors,” he added, “Maybe these guys know a trick or two in which even normal bosses are influenced to think that way.”

There were rumors that cricketers like Pragyan Ojha too had decided to join these IT employees to get some tips, but we couldn’t independently verify this.

When contacted, the cricketers said that people were unnecessarily reading much into the situation.

“Frankly I myself don’t know why I am here,” Ishant Sharma candidly confessed, “I can’t offer any tips except on how to successfully survive internet trolling. But they being IT guys might be already experts in such things.”

Ashwin and Raina too said that they had no tips to offer, but they could gift CSK (Chennai Super Kings) jerseys to the employees if that could boost their morale. Whereas Rohit Sharma maintained that he was in the team due to his talent.

Since the cricketers have refused to give any tips, sources say that political parties are planning to latch on to this opportunity.

AAP is planning to offer such courses under the leadership of Somnath Bharti, if he successfully survives all the demands of his resignation, while BJP has claimed that its entire Delhi unit was fit to offer such courses.

Not to be left behind, Congress too has popped up veterans like Sushilkumar Shinde and Mani Shankar Aiyar to reach out to these techies and give them tips on having a stellar professional career sans any stellar skill set.