Wednesday, 19th February, 2020


“Ghanta”, say cricket fans when asked if they were shocked by spot-fixing exposé

01, Jun 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. 90% of cricket fans interviewed by Faking News said “ghanta” when asked if they were indeed shocked and saddened by the recent spot-fixing controversies around IPL and BCCI, as is being claimed by many news reports.

Ghanta is a Hindi word meaning bell, but it’s also used to signify zero (e.g. Kapil Sibal saying “ghanta” when asked how much money did the government lose due to the 2G scam) or something that resembles a loosely hanging cylinder (e.g. deleted word).

In this particular survey conducted by Faking News reporter Mark Andey, 90% the respondents meant zero i.e. they felt zero level of outrage or affront at being “cheated” by the cricketers during the IPL games.

N Srinivasan
Although most of them didn’t care, the fans wanted N Srinivasan to go, because he looked boring as a cement sack. They also opposed someone equally boring like Rajiv Shukla replacing him.

“Hahahah… as if I cared,” said IPL fan Zumi Zumi, “In fact, I’m happy that all this fixing is going on. It should be encouraged and not punished.”

“Look dude, cricket is a game of glorious uncertainties, and spot-fixing only increases these uncertainties to even more glorious levels. I mean, you think this particular IPL team has won the match, but bookies have some other plan, and suddenly that team loses. It’s fu*king awesome!” Zumi Zumi explained.

Similar sentiments were expressed by an overwhelming majority of IPL fans, most of them not belonging to Chennai, who claimed that they were not at all emotionally attached to any IPL team and watched the tournament for “fun”.

“I belong to Pune but I support Bangalore,” said another IPL fan Tamim Punawala, “No, not because of cricketers, but cheerleaders.”

“Kings XI Punjab is also good, but Pune sucks. I’m happy this team might get scrapped next year,” Punawala added.

“Yes, even I booed N Srinivasan, but we do strange things when we are part of a crowd. I remember making catcalls once when the train I was traveling in entered a dark tunnel; for no reason! I felt similar urge while in the stadium and started hooting,” said a resident of Kolkata who watched the IPL final.

Similar sentiments were echoed by an overwhelming majority of IPL fans who didn’t care about spot-fixing for various reasons.

Those 10% who were shocked at recent developments either betted on matches or believed in smooth functioning of the parliament.