Friday, 28th February, 2020


Government scraps real games, to launch commonwealth computer games

10, Sep 2010 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. With unfinished construction work, athletes testing positive for banned drugs, threat of dengue, and now Indian hockey team pulling out of the Commonwealth Games, the games are increasingly becoming impossible to host. But the Organizing Committee and the Delhi government have come up with an innovative solution – CWG would be launched as a computer game. The games DVDs would be soon available for purchase and play.

“There is good news. We are not going to miss this deadline; the games would start on the pre-announced date.” announced Sheila Dixit, Chief Minister of Delhi, in a press conference called earlier today to celebrate the festival of Eid-Ul-Fitra.

“But there is a slight change in plan. The games would be played only on computers. CWG 2010 is going to be a computer game.” revealed the Chief Minister, attracting vigorous nods of appreciation and applause from Suresh Kalmadi, Chairman of the CWG Organizing Committee, who was seen in a public function almost after a month.

Brand New CWG
CWG 2010 – happening soon on a PC near you

Many journalists almost dropped their jaws and sewai platters as soon as the announcement was made, but later recovered to ask questions. Within half an hour, it was confirmed that the news was genuine and the Commonwealth Games were indeed going to be played solely on computer devices.

“We are taking the games to a whole new level. Not only would the athletes, but even the common man be able to take part in games and win medals.” Suresh Kalmadi presented the latest plan, which includes setting up select venues for playing the games for interested athletes and citizens.

“All the venues are ready this time. We have around 5000 laptops, desktops, PlayStations, Wii’s, Nintendo, etc. in our warehouse; all tested ok by our technical team.” Kalmadi announced proudly, though he refused to answer questions on procurement prices of these machines.

Delhi CM was full of praise for the CWG OC for this innovative step and promised full support of her government for successful completion of the new games. She conceded that the biggest challenge now comes from traders at Delhi’s Nehru Place, who could simultaneously launch pirated version of the games DVDs.

“Yes, there is also a risk of Chinese companies launching a cheaper version of the games and flooding Delhi with their CDs.” she said.

The government and CWG OC denied that they could incur losses due to scrapping of the real events and games.

“No, we would in fact earn money from sales of DVDs, as we expect them to sell more than the tickets. We didn’t have any sponsors and neither could we sell the television rights to anyone for the real events, so there is pretty much nothing to lose.” Kalmadi said.

Even though Indian and foreign athletes are yet to react to the development, Delhi residents have welcomed the move and hoped that the trial runs of CWG lanes would stop with this now, as machines could be transported to the athletes in just a van and won’t need any reserved lane.

Sources suggest that CWG OC is planning to rope in Amitabh Bachchan and make him repeat his “muqabla hogaperformance in a promotional video to popularize the new commonwealth games. If Big B is unavailable, there are plans to make Abhishek Bachchan the brand ambassador, who had earlier championed the cause of a similar initiative known as Oongli Cricket.

But the Congress government of Sheila Dixit may not give a green signal for signing the Bachchans to salvage the games because of recent relationship problems between the party and the Bollywood family, in which case the OC is planning to ask Rahul Gandhi to click a mouse and make the games successful, sources say.

(based on inputs by sCrAtCh LiKeMe)