Monday, 30th March, 2020


Hardcore Indian football fan has already forgotten who won the FIFA World Cup

17, Jul 2014 By Chuck of all trades

Mumbai. Ankit Nair, a self-described ‘hardcore football fan’ seems to have forgotten who lifted the Jules Rimet Trophy a few days ago.

“Jules Rimet? Are you talking about Golf or something?” asked a slightly befuddled Ankit, still wearing a James Rodriguez jersey, before this reporter clarified that he was talking about the just concluded Football World Cup.

“Ah, was it Manchester United? It’s usually them, right?” said the fan, who had been relentlessly tweeting about every match just a few days back.

Mario Gotze with his girlfriend
Although Ankit likes this picture a lot, and he remembers tweeting a variant of it with “LOL”, he failed to recall why did he save it in the folder named “FIFA WC 2014”

Feeling slightly like the lead character in Memento, Ankit wakes up every morning with fading memory of the significance of all the football memorabilia around him.

“I see a diary… It has formations of all the 32 teams… It’s even in my handwriting. But I don’t remember ever writing it!” he said, before his eyes brightened and muttered, “Anyway, who cares, cricket is what we all care about – did you see how Naman Ojha played in that game against Australia A?”

His friends, however, remember his attitude towards ‘The Beautiful Game’ slightly more animated during the duration of the World Cup, describing him in many terms, of which ‘bloody prick’ was the only one we could put up on a national publication.

They claimed Ankit would memorize stats and become the ‘No. 1 fan’ of a country whose existence he had just learnt about. For instance:

Pre World Cup Ankit: Haha dude, Costa Rica apparently is the name of a country lulz I think it’s more like a coffee name. Hahahahaha #lulz #funny

During World Cup Ankit: Doooood Costa Rica not just plays amazing football, they also are one of the greenest countries in the world, have abolished their army and have some of the best biodiversity on the planet thanks to the unique confluence of Pacific and Atlantic oceans. Truly a magnificent place… Oh this? This is just a limited edition Bryan Ruiz jersey which I ordered from the official FIFA site for 5600 Rupees (import taxes and duties excluded)”

Now that the FIFA World Cup is over, Ankit’s football passion has fallen to the wayside faster than a Congress candidate’s promises post-election.

When told it was Germany who won the tournament, he said: “Oh, yeah, I remember. Ronaldo scored those goals for them, right?”

Somewhere, N Srinivasan was silently chuckling to himself.