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Indian Bowlers now declared endangered species by WWF

29, Oct 2015 By chachachaudhary

New Delhi: Looking at the ease at which Indian bowlers were hunted by merciless poachers like AB Devilliers and Quinton De-Kock, during the last ODI, the World Wildlife Federation has declared Indian bowlers as endangered species.

The WWF declared that in the nation of 1.25 billion the species, bowlers are so few that even the percentage cannot be calculated. WWF is framing a new Act and launching a new program for their conservation ‘Save the bowlers’.

The new act will provide certain framework and set of regulations to help in their conservation and preservation.

WWF to declare Indian bowlers as endangered
Indian bowlers are now endangered species

WWF specified natural catastrophe like IPL responsible for the extinction of species like Indian bowlers.

Under the Act, now onward only batsmen would play cricket, bowling would be done by Robots  and Bowling machines.

Batsmen can hit as many sixes as they feel but to take care of injustice to batsmen robots like Terminator, Chitti and Sir Ravindra Jadeja, won’t be allowed.

The bowlers would be incubated in special stadiums where batsmen would not be there to hunt them down and they would be bowling on empty pitches to get line, length and accuracy.

When they would cross the above mentioned stage of life cycle they would graduate into spin and speed. Then only those suitable would be allowed would be judged according to ‘Survival of fittest’ and the fitter surviving ones would be rehabilitated  into natural habitat of International cricket and then only the relation between batsmen and bowler would be symbiosis and not parasitic.

Abstaining from toxic and polluting atmosphere like IPL where money is an abundance would lead to reverse adaptation and new upgraded breed would be ready to face predators later. Till the numbers of bowlers are restored a five-year term plan would be followed.

After the trial period of 5 years, when their numbers would start to replenish then new rules would be applicable. After that only one four or one six per over would be allowed and if a batsmen hits more than one boundary then he would be declared out.

Poachers like AB de-Villiers and Quinton De-Kock would be barred from entering no-poaching zones such as World Cup and bilateral series.

In this issue the ruling party BJP and Opposition parties led by the congress agreed for a scheme called as ‘Pradhaan Mantri Gendbaaz Bachao Yojana’ or Prime Minister Save Bowlers scheme.

Congress promised full support if the scheme is named after Rahul Gandhi since they don’t have a single scheme after Rahul Gandhi.

BJP did not wan’t to take any chances so they agreed for the name thinking that they would have somebody to blame if the scheme fails.

Under this scheme young boys who can bowl fast would be selected groomed and protected from this world. This scheme would be free for any caste /region based reservation.

Only reported obstacle is boys not registering for the scheme because of clause that they would not be allowed to play in IPL.