England. The announcement of Ravi Shastri as the director of Indian team for the rest of the series in England has created a wave of panic among players who were seen protesting against the decision.
The team which has been struggling to cope up with the presence of one robot i.e. Duncan Fletcher, now fears that with Shastri on board the entire team will go nuts.
Indian players further claim that reason for their poor performance is that they are hardly left with any energy after exhausting themselves trying to make out what Duncan is trying to say through his expressions or rather the lack of them.
“It’s only after 2 years now that we have begun to understand a little bit of what Duncan is trying to convey through that stoic demeanor. Now if they thrust Shastri also on us, our career will be finished and we may lose to Sri Lanka as well,” said Rohit Sharma who holds the record for spending maximum time with Duncan, courtesy his Maggi knocks. He later asked us to edit the ‘career finished’ bit after everybody around him started laughing hysterically.
Virat Kohli who claims he had been dodging captaincy for the fear of facing Ravi after every match is now contemplating taking a break from cricket.
“I have been avoiding to become captain of the team or becoming Man of the Match awards as it would put me in front of Ravi Shastri during presentation ceremonies. I used to see how traumatized Dhoni bhai would be after chatting with him in post match presentations. He would then beat up Raina to vent out his pain as that would have therapeutic effect on him,” Kohli revealed how even Indian captain could not endure Ravi’s clichéd laden robotic manner of talking.
“Even Yash Raj’s films are not as clichéd,” Kohli pointed out.
Sources tell Faking News that the Indian team is planning to play their natural game and lose the ODI series 5-0 to ensure Sahstri being ousted immediately after the series.