Hobart, Australia. With a renewed and recharged love for Indian cricket and cricketers after India awesomefuckingly beat Sri Lanka to stay in hunt for a place in the finals of the ongoing tri-series in Australia, Indian cricket fans today decided to forgive the team for their previous sins losses. The fans instead decided to put the blame on television commentator Ravi Shastri for the earlier losses.
“It was him! He was spoiling it for India,” said Naman, who had already forgotten the name of the captain of the Indian Hockey team after India successfully chased down a mammoth total of 320 runs in less than 37 overs.
Naman, a self-proclaimed member of CBI (Cricket Backchods Buffs of India) – an organization that gave a clean chit to the Indian players after today’s victory – claimed that the fact that Ravi Shastri was stuck up in an elevator for hours during today’s match was a clinching proof that India was losing the earlier matches due to him.
“That was the only thing that was different from earlier matches,” he claimed, and rejected ‘insinuations’ that the Hobart pitch was flat, which helped India bat well.
“Your ass is flat,” Naman told this Faking News reporter when asked for an opinion.
“Chup be kutte!” he further opined when the reporter asked him if Virat Kohli’s performance meant that India should drop senior players from the team and focus on younger players.
Sources suggest that Ravi Shastri was elected from a wide pool of choices of personalities and entities, which Indian fans considered for blaming the earlier losses.
Poonam Pandey, IPL, Airtel’s friendships ads, and unknown sinister friends known to individual fans were other factors that the fans thought was causing India to play horribly.
“We are the World Champions!” said Manish, when asked about his opinion on earlier losses.
Meanwhile Ravi Shastri has offered to accept the blame for India’s losses till the BCCI and television channels didn’t chop and change the teams too much.
“In the end, cricket is the winner,” Shastri said.