Melbourne, Australia. After implementing a brilliant marketing strategy to popularize his book, former Australian cricketer Ricky Ponting is now working on an equally brilliant sales and distribution strategy.
Further milking the monkeygate episode, Ponting has decided to employ some monkeys in India to sell his memoirs. Many monkeys have already been short-listed and trained, replacing salesman in book stores and kids at traffic signals.
“Talking about monekygate incident and questioning Sachin’s integrity is a sure shot way to grab eyeballs and eardrums. So much so, that people not in any way related to cricket have been dedicating a chapter talking about it and criticizing Sachin. They have done it in romantic novels and even in cookery books. At least Ponting did it only in his memoirs,” an expert claimed.
But nobody knew that Ponting was planning beyond books.
“Employing monkeys is definitely a masterstroke and gem of a marketing strategy,” a management guru lauded Ponting and gave him full marks for daring to think beyond the hackneyed approach.
The management guru cited example of Bollywood film Ghajini, where Aamir Khan had employed almost bald men at ticket counters to generate publicity before the release.
With his marketing and sales strategy, Ponting aims to sell at least 350 million copies in India. Due to high sales target and comparatively lower population of monkeys in India, Punter is also in talks with Vindu Dara Singh if he could also oblige and double up as monkey.
When asked if it wasn’t double standards on his part to suggest Vindu Dara Singh is ‘what’ he alleges Symonds was called by Bhajji, he said, “Hey as much as it is considered a racial abuse back in Australia, it’s not much of a denigrating word here in India. In fact, you guys consider monkey intelligent. Remember ‘Raja aur Rancho’ where you guys had shown monkey helping a detective?” Punter displayed his knowledge acquired about India, most probably due to his IPL stint.
Meanwhile in Jaipur, a monkey selling the book at a traffic junction had to be hospitalized after he was beaten up by a group of angry men who mistook him for a banned mercurial cricketer of their IPL team, while in Delhi, the UPA government has already added large scale employment of even animals in India to their list of achievements to be documented in Bharat Nirman ads.