Chennai. Media might be calling it “Blow to Srini”, but the BCCI boss N Srinivasan is not concerned. After Bombay High Court slammed the BCCI for conducting inquiries and investigations in an unconstitutional and illegal manner, Srini has in turn offered to “reform” judiciary.
“Why is High Court so jealous of us, only because we delivered a fast verdict?” said Srini running his hand through his hair, “Lakhs of cases are pending and people don’t know what to do. We can provide an alternate judiciary, which will overcome all shortcomings of the current one.”
As any new parallel judiciary system will need a lot of human resource so reportedly BCCI has proper plans for monetization too.
“We can live broadcast high profile cases of public concern. We can show advertisements between and can have good source of revenue too. Can you imagine how much money can Salmaan Khan trial can generate? It will break all records,” Srini sounded almost like his bête noire Lalit Modi.
While the government or opposition is silent on Srini’s claims, the President of India is impressed with the move.
“Long time, no mercy petitions to reject,” Pranab Da rued the slow pace of current judiciary, “I think Supreme Court should retire after 65 years of service in independent India. Even Tendulkar retired!”
“Our job is made very simple. We can now stop all the futile investigations and things like evidence gathering. All we need is to find out the son-in-laws of the judges and be nice to them and everything will be taken care,” said the chief of a city police who requested anonymity.
It has also been proposed that all the judges will be given a bat and ball and sent to the cricket academy as a way of keeping their livelihood. “The only flip side is, as these judges get trained and come to play serious cricket, we can see a lot of drawn matches,” said a BCCI official, who is also supporter of Srini.
Srini said that he was serious about reforming judiciary: “The processes need to be made faster and simpler. Say, why can’t appeals be filed shouting ‘Howzzaattt’ in the courts and not taking to a higher court?”
“I am as serious about reforming judiciary as I was about cleaning cricket,” he added.