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Delhi govt to pump excess oxygen from deserted roads into crowded Metro stations

10, Jan 2016 By Beer & Biryani

New Delhi: In what is being regarded as one of the highly innovative techniques of recent times, the government of Delhi has reportedly decided to capture and safely store excess oxygen from cleaner parts of Delhi and release it in crowded spaces.

Rajiv Chowk metro station during a holiday
Rajiv Chowk metro station during a holiday

Odd-Even scheme currently followed in Delhi has resulted in congestion free roads and improved the quality of air there but at the same time has resulted in busier metro stations with shortage of Oxygen. To counter this imbalance, AAP Government has decided to transfer the Oxygen from the roads to the metro stations.

AAP Government swung into action after some social media reports indicated that odd-even policy is resulting in crowded metro stations during rush hours, resulting in shortage of Oxygen for the commuters.

Speaking to Faking News, one of the officials said, “The oxygen collected from deserted roads will be pumped in metro railway stations so that the needy get the required oxygen. Above ground metro stations are doing fine but places like Rajiv Chowk showed a dramatic drop in available Oxygen, we had to counter that.”

Not everyone is happy with this scheme though. BJP’s Vijendra Gupta lashed out at AAP and said, “Why are they providing this Oxygen to metro users only? This is vote bank politics. Why not release some of this Oxygen at Anand Vihar Bus Station where people are breathing Carbondioxide for past several years? This is appeasement.”

There was mixed reaction to this announcement from the regular metro users. While one user Akanksha Sethi said she was very happy and relieved that she won’t die of suffocation now, another commuter Rajiv Sethi said, “It is unnecessary to be honest. After boarding and deboarding metro at Rajiv Chowk for 10 years, I have become quite used to surviving on low Oxygen levels. I am more used to low oxygen levels than some of the mountaineers by now.”

Some experts have suggested that along with roads, Government should also collect Oxygen from Parliament and use it as there is hardly ever anyone there to use it.