Tokyo, Japan. The Government of Japan has finally woken up to reality and decided to shelve the two-decade long robo-project codenamed “Thalaiva 2.0” initiated to replicate Rajinikanth in the form of a robot. The project involved some of Japan’s top minds from their top tech companies and so far had cost the Japanese an amount ten times more than the round underground thingamajig built in Switzerland, pushing the Japanese economy into a decade long economic tailspin.
Admitting defeat, the head scientist Hidenseeki Icandonomuru said, “It would have been totally badass if we could pull off another Rajini saaar; I mean think about it! The possibilities are mindboggling in various spheres of life. For instance, in sports, the robo could have coached people to play volleyball like it in Baba or even imagine the revolution it could have caused in the art of cigaret… err… bubble gum popping.”
Hidenseeki changed his last word, apparently fearful of the possibility that he could be targeted by activists of the Japanese arm of the PMK.
Further expressing grief over the loss to the scientific community due to the abortion of this grand project, Hidenseeki said, “It would have been enlightening and more fun watching the Rajini robo go around fascinating trajectories than watching atoms go around in boring circles in our laboratories. However after various years of trying, it dawned upon us that Rajini saaar doesn’t operate within the laws of this world.”
“His way is a different way. And though our tech is cutting edge, it not as cutting edge as Rajini saaar.” he added, probably referring to the technology, which allows Rajinikanth to cut a bullet into two to simultaneously dispose of two goons.
But Hidenseeki Icandonomuru added with glee that while pursuing the project, the scientific community of Japan could watch all the movies of Rajinikanth for free and hoped that the exposure and experience would come handy to them for future projects.
“In fact, we are planning a Madame Tussauds like museum in Tokyo with robots of celebrities, especially Bollywood starts. We have figured out that we virtually have to do nothing but to give the listless machines some cosmetic appearance. Robots automatically start acting like them afterwards.” Hidenseeki informed.
The announcement by Japan comes at a time when Rajinikanth is ready with the release of a movie called Endhiran in Tamil and Robot in Hindi, where he plays a scientist as well as a robot.
“Thalaivar can play robot, but a robot can’t play thalaivar!” concluded Karthik, an excited Rajini fan.
(report by Geela, a fraud Tamil)