New Delhi. Center’s decision to grant statehood to Telangana has already encouraged similar demands in various parts of India, but now the disease is spreading like crazy. In what could start a series of queer demands for a change in the current state to which an object currently belongs, a bunch of lunatics (people who are obsessed with Luna i.e. the Moon) have demanded that the status of the Moon should be upgraded from satellite to planet.
“Moon has always been considered as a planet in all the ancient texts and by astrologers all across the civilizations. But the new scientists, out of their arrogance emanating out of the little knowledge that they could develop, stripped the moon of this status to mock at the ancient sciences (religions). We have been putting up with this insult for ages now, but we have decided to fight for our rights now.” Pagal Purohit, one of the protestors said.
The protest was joined by hundreds of lunatics from different parts of the country, who shouted slogans in support of the moon. Protestors ranged from pure lunatics and astrologers to other moon loving activists like poets, painters, movie-makers, lovers, and even space scientists, all of whom demanded that the moon must be accorded the status of a planet.
“It’s not just about sentiments or religion alone, even science supports this claim. Moon is destined to become a planet as it has been continuously moving away from the earth. There would be a time in the future when moon’s center of gravity will move outside the earth, which would make the moon a planet by the current definition. So you see, it’s something Moon is destined to achieve and deserves. We must start calling it a planet, even if it calls for some minor modifications in the current definition.” Chandru Satnami, an astronomer taking part in the protests argued.
Protestors have threatened to go on an indefinite fast to push their demands. When asked how would a change in the planetary status of the moon would help the celestial object or its potential inhabitants, the protestors argued that the issue was more about granting respect to a long standing demand and the sentiments of people, than material benefits.
“It’s about self-respect. It’s about getting what we deserve. It’s about fighting inequality. It’s about identity. It’s about the right to self-determination. It’s about democracy for god’s sake. There are surely other benefits too, and you’d come to know them when moon becomes a planet. Right now such questions dilute the strength of the movement, and we request you not to digress from the main issue or we might have to protest against you as well.” Raj Chandravanshi, the leader of the movement politely warned.
The march by lunatics disrupted the already disruptive Delhi traffic and caused a lot of inconvenience to the people, but not many of them were ready to express their dissent in public as lunatics looked quite aggressive in their demeanors. In fact there were people who supported the demands of lunatics.
“I had lost in Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas Se Tez Hain because I had answered that there were nine planets in the solar system. But I came to know that the scientist folks had removed Pluto as a planet after changing the definition of a planet. What the hell man! If they could change the definition of a planet to remove Pluto, they could and should change it again to include Moon. I just want to have nine planets in our solar system, and we must stick to this number.” Karthik Munmun, a man stuck in traffic jam said.
Lunatics are planning similar marches and rallies all across the world to support their demands and beliefs.