Saturday, 19th October, 2019

Snippets

Meteorological department to record intolerance levels along with temperature and other weather parameters

29, Oct 2015 By Beer & Biryani

New Delhi: In what is being regarded as an attempt to quantify the rising intolerance across India, the national met department has reportedly kicked off a new project ‘Patience’ aimed at facilitating the measurement of intolerance levels across Indian society.

A meteorological department employees
A meteorological department employees

Project ‘Patience’ was inaugurated by an eminent poet cum historian turned activist from the capital region, who incidentally, was a victim of disenchantment caused due to his decreasing patience levels caused by untoward incidents happening in the nation.

Faking News decided to give the historian a miss and instead, spoke to the scientist Mr. Sridhar Sharma, who’d be developing the tolerance apparatus.

“Project Patience is aimed at creating a tolerant apparatus for measuring the country’s geographic patience levels, whose results, could later be used for selective maintenance of law and order. Developing this apparatus alone is not going to be enough, propelling this device un-harmed into the Earth’s orbit for continuous monitoring of tolerance would be the final target of this project,” said Mr. Sharma as a daunting task lay ahead of him.

“The magnitude of tolerance would be in degrees while unit of measurement would be called Sahitya. For example, if some film critic has returned the award, the tolerance level could be 10.92 degree Sahitya. As Akademi award returnees were the first to discover intolerance, the unit of measurement has been named after them,” ended Mr. Sharma as he left for design discussions.

The award returnees of recent times seemed quite happy as they heard about ‘Sabar’, the device for monitoring patience levels and appealed to people who haven’t returned the awards, to do so and indirectly show support to Sabar.

Our intellectual sources say, developing a device to measure tolerance levels is brilliant idea that even the great Tesla and unbeatable Einstein wouldn’t have got. Time will tell if ‘Sabar’ would really prove to be beneficial for managing law and order geographically; or one unfortunate day, break, when intolerance is at peaks.