Saturday, 29th February, 2020


Mosquito diagnosed with lung cancer due to passive smoking

07, Dec 2013 By idiot420

Gurgaon. In a rather unusual turn of events, Lucy, a female mosquito who lives in a Udyog Vihar phase V house has been diagnosed with lung cancer. As per doctor’s report, passive smoking is the main cause behind her ill fate.

Protect mosquitoes: don’t make them breathe your smoke.

This is the first known case where a mosquito has contacted a disease due to a human being. Sources tell Faking News that Lucy had been living in house of a chain smoker, who happens to be a heavy drinker too.

“I thought that smoke will not harm me, so for the sake of blood, I took risk. Although sometimes I felt dizziness and morning hangovers after sucking his blood, I never knew it will turn out to be so bad,” said Lucy, the ill mosquito.

Lucy decided to see a doctor when she faced difficulty in breathing. Initially she thought it was the pollution in Gurgaon, but she was worried when she couldn’t feel any difference after flying to some green areas in nearby Delhi. Hoping it will be a common cold or something, Lucy decided to see a doctor, but she was crestfallen. Her cancer was in advanced stage.

“I will try to slip her into chemotherapy sessions along with some human beings, few of such sessions should be sufficient enough,” said a hopeful Dr. Louie. For medication, he has suggested Lucy to suck blood of human patients undergoing lung cancer treatment.

Sulking over the unfortunate situation, Lucy’s father who lives in a nearby movie theater said that he had warned her many times to stay away from chain smokers.

“Chain smokers among human beings are like Anopheles mosquitoes among us. We give them malaria, and they give us cancer!” Lucy’s father explained.

Lucy’s father further said that he has been warning his daughter after he became aware of ill effects of tobacco thanks to ads they show in movie theatres. “But this young generation, they discard all such warnings!” he rued.

This incident has left the young section of mosquito community quite enraged, and if sources are to be believed, they are even planning revenge.

“They may go for guerrilla attacks on those who smoke,” revealed a source, “We just hope they don’t start smoking kachhua chhap machchhar agarbatti.”