Sunday, 5th April, 2020


Political Physics: 12 definitions of scientific terms including Escape Velocity

08, Oct 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

After Rahul Gandhi used the term “escape velocity”, Physics has come back to politics. It should be noted that this is not the first time physics has been used in politics. Newton’s third law has often been used, but thanks to Shri Rahul Gandhi, now the political discourse is more educated.

Here are 12 scientific terms from high school physics textbooks explained in political terms by Faking News.

Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein reacts to political physics

Absolute Zero: The losses due to various scams.

Atom (Neutrons, Protons, and Electrons): In a core group of a party, protons are the high command having real power e.g. Rahul Gandhi and Sonia Gandhi, neutrons help them bind together e.g. Manmohan Singh, and Electrons move around this nucleus e.g. everyone else in the Congress party. In case of BJP, Advani and Modi are protons, Rajnath Singh is a neutron, and electrons are talking to the sources.

Alternating Current: In political terms this is found in Tamil Nadu, which is ironically facing power shortages. This happens when DMK and AIADMK take power alternatively.

Big Bang Theory: A belief that you can create something out of nothing if you shout loudly.

Black Hole: Jan Lokpal, from which even light can’t escape if found to indulge in corruption.

Centrifugal Force: It is the “fictitious” force that appears to push a rotating body away from the center. It is truly fictitious and absent when Congress is concerned i.e. the leaders rotating around the Gandhi family feel no force that pushes them away from the family. Whereas in BJP it is a real force, LK Advani confirmed it when Narendra Modi was brought to the center.

Escape Velocity: The speed of scamming at which you attain a velocity that can take you out of the gravitational field of the law i.e. the law can not pull you back and you can only go higher and higher.

Fossil Fuel: When you derive energy from dead leaders or blame those leaders for the shortcomings. Examples are retracted in order to not hurt the sentiments.

Free Fall: A political phenomenon witnessed when a leader without grassroot support is kicked out of a party e.g. Amar Singh out of Samajwadi Party.

Inelastic Collision: When the collision i.e. alliance of two political parties fails to conserve their respective kinetic energies, it’s known as inelastic collision. For example, two parties with 12 and 8 Losk Sabha seats respectively join hand and win 3 Lok Sabha seats together after fresh elections.

Kinetic Energy: When you walk out of the parliament session, this act of being in motion creates kinetic energy. As you will read in the text books, this energy is dependent upon motion, even no-confidence motion. This energy is later used in shouting slogans.

Vacuum: It is a political synonym for governance and discourse.